Free Reluctance (The Exchange #2) by M. B. Feeney

Prologue
     
    Dear Mr. King,
    As discussed during our meeting this afternoon, I have put in writing our agreed schedule of meetings.
    We shall meet every Wednesday, during your Sociology period. Mr. Greene has agreed to provide me with handouts each week so you are still able to keep up with this class. The last thing anyone wants is for your grades to suffer; I understand how important getting into a good college is to you.
    The journal I gave you is going to be our main discussion point during our meetings, so you will need to start writing your entries straight away. Don’t worry about the chronology of events, just get them written down. Please be as honest as possible with your entries. If you can’t tell yourself the truth, then it will be even harder for myself and anyone else to believe you, and in turn, help you.
    Each week, we shall read one or two of these entries, depending on their length, to help you assess your anger and depression levels behind each. As I said when we were face to face, I don’t want you to over think when writing the entries, just get the words down. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense, we can work on that.
    Tentatively, our meetings are to continue for six weeks. I realize this means there will be a fortnight’s gap during the Christmas break, but sadly, to ensure you get the guidance needed, it is imperative we start straight away.
    I understand the issues you have with your brother go beyond simple ‘sibling rivalry’ and I also appreciate that you feel you need to keep it close to your chest. I do, however, hope that in time, you will learn to trust me and realize that I’m here to help rather than to be a ‘pain in the ass’, as many students see me.
    Please, Mr. King, co-operate with me during these meetings and in writing your journal entries. The sooner you work through the issues that you have, the sooner you will be able to continue on in your studies and achieve the goals you hold in such high esteem for college and your adult life.
    Just to make you aware, a copy of this letter has been sent to both the principal and your parents.
    Yours sincerely
    Ms. M Jones, Guidance Counsellor
     
    —∫∫∫∫—
     
    December 2011
     
    So, Ms. “It’s MIZZ not MISS” Jones gave me this journal. Apparently writing my feelings down will help me deal with my ‘anger issues’ and the ‘depression’ I’ve been suffering since Jessie ended things between us.
    I admit, I am angry, and have been for two months, but I’m not depressed. Yeah, I was hurt and shit, but now I’m just angry. All the time; an emotion I’m not used to feeling so much. Up until now, I’ve never done the ‘angry’ stuff; never even knew I had a temper as such.
    She’s ‘advised’ me to start at the beginning as much as I can with these dumb entries. I don’t want to do it, but as we have to read them together at our weekly meetings, I have no choice. At least one entry a day. . . This whole thing sucks ass.
    There’s no point starting at the very beginning, though; back then everything was good; real good. No, I think my seventeenth birthday is where I need to start this thing. . .
     
    Aiden

Chapter One
     
    December 2011
     
    I’ve been sat staring at this stupid book for almost an hour. It’s like it’s taunting me from my desk, waiting for me to ‘open up’ and all that shit.
    When Mizz . Jones gave it to me, I nearly threw it back at her. I don’t need to share my feelings. I know how I feel and that’s enough for me. No one else needs to know. Why can’t these kinda things stay private?
    So what if I attacked my dick of a brother on school grounds? I would have run him over if I’d been in my car. The douche got what he deserved, and I would have given him more if the principal hadn’t pulled me off.
    No one needs to know why; I doubt they’d believe me over Mr. Perfection, anyway. Why would ‘Big Man on Campus’, Tyler do wrong enough to deserve a beating? I just