Free The Story of Channon Rose: Lessons between the Lines by Channon Rose

was not allowed to smoke on campus so I told her I would leave campus and go home, which is exactly what I did. I walked home and the next day I was expelled.
    Needless to say my mom was pissed and disappointed yet again and had to find me another school to attend, bless her heart. This was my third school in one year! Guess what happened? I got expelled from that school too! At least I can add some humor in my story and say that I got expelled for different reasons at each school. Let me explain though, within less than a month at my new school, I found some diet pills in my mother’s house and started taking them to speed up my metabolism and to lose weight. A girl I had met at my new school wanted to buy some from me, so I sold her a whole bunch of them. A few days later I found out that girl ended up overdosing on them. When she was in the hospital her parents asked her where and whom she got the pills from and she had blamed me for selling her “drugs” on campus. Obviously, I got in big trouble for that which was why I was expelled again from another school.
    I was on so many medications and was getting into more trouble than ever before. I did not care about much or life at all, but I knew that if I screwed up at the next school, I would be held back a grade. I hated school and couldn’t wait till I didn’t have to go anymore so I did not want to get held back. My fourth school was tough; I did not know anyone and I did not understand anything because of the constant switching of schools. I was so lost in every class and I couldn’t catch up. I was lonely, miserable, and had no friends. I was always the crazy new girl at school that everyone was talking about behind my back. It was a good thing we lived in Los Angeles and had a ton of different schools to put me into.
    Every day I became more and more depressed. The kids made fun of my clubbed thumbs, a condition that you are born with. It’s a condition where the tips of your thumbs are shorter than normal. I started hiding my thumbs in my sweaters because they embarrassed me. I was really unhappy in middle school, and there were times when I felt so low and like such a failure that I wanted to kill myself. My life was awful, my parents hated me, and I didn’t have any friends because I couldn’t stay in school long enough to make any so I was just miserable. I felt bad for my parents having to deal with me. I felt like no one would care if I died, and that they didn’t love me anyway. No one would miss me and their lives would be easier without me in it. I felt this way for months and I felt this feeling of being so empty and lost and that I was never going to be anybody or amount to anything. Everything Misty had said about me was true. I was exhausted from life and feeling this way, and decided I wanted to end my life. Another day of this shitty life I was living was too much for me to handle. I couldn’t stand another day of feeling so depressed. I was going to commit suicide. I sat in class and started planning in my head how I would end my life. I couldn’t stop crying thinking about it; I just kept wiping away my tears in class staying really quiet so no one would notice me crying. I didn’t want to cut my wrists, because I wouldn’t want my mom to have to clean that up and I wouldn’t want my little sister to have to see that. After going through a bunch of scenarios in my head, I figured that the best way for me to end my life was to overdose on my Seroquel pills. My mom had just refilled my prescription at the pharmacy so I knew I had a full bottle of pills.
    My Seroquel was a very strong medication. As soon as I took one of those pills at night, I would fall asleep in my dinner plate. So I figured if I took half the bottle, it would just put me to sleep and I would die peacefully. I realized that my mom would find me dead, but at least she would find me in my bed and it would look like I was sleeping. People seem to think that suicide is a