Free Inside Grandad by Peter Dickinson
Authors: Peter Dickinson
estate agents, but Mum had got Elsie and Bob to stand in for her and drove the three of them up to Aberdeen. She left Gran and Gavin at the hospital entrance and went off to do her shopping.
Several of the other patients had visitors, which would have made it awkward to do the exercises anyway, so Gavin simply settled on the other side of the bed and half listened to Gran's chat while he did the easy bits of homework. Her stories seemed really lively and interesting and amusing that day. He guessed she was making a special effort for Grandad. He'd never have known how sad she was inside if it hadn't been for what she'd told him at the hospital that time.
When she went off to chat with the nurse on duty—a new one Gavin hadn't met—he held Grandad's hand and told him, slowly, spinning it out with pauses, about fishing the day before, and Tacky wanting to teach him how to do it. Then he settled back to his homework, saying something about it every now and then, as usual, until Gran came back. When Mum arrived she talked to the nurse about how Grandad was getting on and what would happen next, and then came and told himabout it, doing her best, but it wasn't her kind of thing. She liked stuff to happen when she spoke. Nothing happened with Grandad. After a while she took them home.
After supper he called Brian about coming round to look at his computer game the next day, and then watched TV with Gran. He wasn't that keen on the programs she liked, but she needed somebody there so she could tell them what she thought about everyone in the soaps, and he was feeling a bit ashamed about the way he'd been behaving and thinking, as if he were the only one Grandad truly mattered to, the only one who really cared. For the same reason he went to church with her next morning, which he didn't most Sundays, though Grandad usually did. Gavin didn't know what to think about church, and Grandad wouldn't tell him. "Got to make up your own mind," he said. "Only not yet." Mum believed in earth spirits and stuff, so she stayed home and cooked Sunday dinner.
After that he went round to Brian's. Brian's dad was in computers, so he had a lot of cast-off kit that still worked okay. The game was called Spec Ops, which stood for Special Operations, and two of you could play it on separate PCs, working together to shoot up the baddies. Brian had had plenty of practice, but Gavin picked it up soon enough and they had a good time until Brian's dad came and shooed them out into the open air for a bit of exercise. They took their bikes up into Dunnottar woods the other side of the stream and joined Terry and Tony and a couple of others whooping round the mountain-bike track in the old quarry. Gavin came off intoa bramble and cut his arm. It bled a bit, but he licked it clean and got home tired enough and hungry enough to feel he'd had a really good time.
Another okay, ordinary day.
The first Monday after the change he got to the stroke unit telling himself, Okay. Mum's right. There's no point in my wearing myself stupid trying to get through to Grandad by some sort of crazy magic pressure inside me that nobody else can do. Who do I think I am? Harry Potter? It isn't all down to me, and anyway I'll be much more use to him if I do it the sensible way, and forget about the selkies and all that.
But it didn't work out like that.
Lena wasn't in the ward, and he decided he'd better not start in on the exercises without her say-so, so he just took hold of Grandad's hand, as usual, and started to tell him, a bit at a time, about the new system, and what Mum had said, and why she'd been right really, and it was crazy of him to think the selkies had anything to do with it. But almost at once his voice started to choke up, because it all mattered far, far too much for him to control, and he realized that the pressure was back, worse than it had ever been, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.
He stopped talking and simply waited until he thought he
Several of the other patients had visitors, which would have made it awkward to do the exercises anyway, so Gavin simply settled on the other side of the bed and half listened to Gran's chat while he did the easy bits of homework. Her stories seemed really lively and interesting and amusing that day. He guessed she was making a special effort for Grandad. He'd never have known how sad she was inside if it hadn't been for what she'd told him at the hospital that time.
When she went off to chat with the nurse on duty—a new one Gavin hadn't met—he held Grandad's hand and told him, slowly, spinning it out with pauses, about fishing the day before, and Tacky wanting to teach him how to do it. Then he settled back to his homework, saying something about it every now and then, as usual, until Gran came back. When Mum arrived she talked to the nurse about how Grandad was getting on and what would happen next, and then came and told himabout it, doing her best, but it wasn't her kind of thing. She liked stuff to happen when she spoke. Nothing happened with Grandad. After a while she took them home.
After supper he called Brian about coming round to look at his computer game the next day, and then watched TV with Gran. He wasn't that keen on the programs she liked, but she needed somebody there so she could tell them what she thought about everyone in the soaps, and he was feeling a bit ashamed about the way he'd been behaving and thinking, as if he were the only one Grandad truly mattered to, the only one who really cared. For the same reason he went to church with her next morning, which he didn't most Sundays, though Grandad usually did. Gavin didn't know what to think about church, and Grandad wouldn't tell him. "Got to make up your own mind," he said. "Only not yet." Mum believed in earth spirits and stuff, so she stayed home and cooked Sunday dinner.
After that he went round to Brian's. Brian's dad was in computers, so he had a lot of cast-off kit that still worked okay. The game was called Spec Ops, which stood for Special Operations, and two of you could play it on separate PCs, working together to shoot up the baddies. Brian had had plenty of practice, but Gavin picked it up soon enough and they had a good time until Brian's dad came and shooed them out into the open air for a bit of exercise. They took their bikes up into Dunnottar woods the other side of the stream and joined Terry and Tony and a couple of others whooping round the mountain-bike track in the old quarry. Gavin came off intoa bramble and cut his arm. It bled a bit, but he licked it clean and got home tired enough and hungry enough to feel he'd had a really good time.
Another okay, ordinary day.
The first Monday after the change he got to the stroke unit telling himself, Okay. Mum's right. There's no point in my wearing myself stupid trying to get through to Grandad by some sort of crazy magic pressure inside me that nobody else can do. Who do I think I am? Harry Potter? It isn't all down to me, and anyway I'll be much more use to him if I do it the sensible way, and forget about the selkies and all that.
But it didn't work out like that.
Lena wasn't in the ward, and he decided he'd better not start in on the exercises without her say-so, so he just took hold of Grandad's hand, as usual, and started to tell him, a bit at a time, about the new system, and what Mum had said, and why she'd been right really, and it was crazy of him to think the selkies had anything to do with it. But almost at once his voice started to choke up, because it all mattered far, far too much for him to control, and he realized that the pressure was back, worse than it had ever been, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.
He stopped talking and simply waited until he thought he