Free Bound and Freed Boxed Set by Nikki Sex

understand about sex, but the entire process had still been hideous.
    The other time he had been able to orgasm with another
was with André Chevalier, four years ago. At that time the terrible shame he
usually felt afterwards had been overridden by grief for Aunt Brenda's death.
    Masturbating was safe and regular, particularly after a
good session where he and his submissive had brought each other to soaring
euphoric heights. At those times he had to relieve himself in the shower even
before leaving the club, and those orgasms always produced some enjoyment for
they felt clean and pure. Sexual release otherwise was a shameful, dirty, necessity.
It was something his body had to do, like urinating, or eating, but less
pleasurable than either of those things.
    If he understood the problem he would be able to fix it.
That was why he had completed a psychology degree after all – but there were no
answers there. John Taylor couldn’t climax in the presence of another for he
could barely climax on his own. Was it a question of vulnerability? Because he
was unable to show how he felt? Or give himself over? Or was it simply negative
associations with the entire process?
    André had told him that the ability to climax with
another would come to him eventually. He had suggested that perhaps it was a
matter of the heart and soul, and that John just needed to find someone to love
and trust. John gave an internal snort. It seemed an endless, impossible task.
But maybe because it was dark, and because for some strange reason he really
cared about this girl? Could her purity be a key to find enjoyment and the
ability to actually climax with another?
    With his arms encircling Kelly's torso, John squeezed,
noticing that this was an impulsive affectionate touch. Usually every action he
took when near others, except during a scene, was pre-thought out beforehand.
John didn’t feel affection for anyone unless he had brought a submissive to
release through pain, yet he was fond of Kelly. Was it karmic? Was it meant to
be this way? But what if she couldn’t make him climax? How could he face Kelly
again after exposing her to his own personal shame?
    André Chevalier had assured John that someday he would
find someone, or they would find him. John wondered if Kelly could be that
someone. It felt right, but how could he trust feelings? Especially when he
preferred to cut his emotions off all together and live without them entirely.
    John's jaw clenched with decision. He should just say no
and forget the whole thing. But he couldn't do that. Because he didn't want to
hurt Kelly.
    God damn the woman was messing with his head, yet he was
incurably drawn to her. He would simply have to do it. "Courage, mon ami, "
he could hear the words of his mentor say in the back of his mind. It was
madness, and it was well beyond daring, but he wanted to risk everything.
Because of her. 'Yes, I'll do it, he decided. For her.
    "I don't have a
condom," he suddenly said, realizing with both relief and agony that he
may not be able to throw himself off this cliff after all.

7. Queasy
    John wasn't
frequently surprised, but even as a child Kelly had stunned him with the
unexpected. Irrepressibly cheerful, even trapped in a small dark room, she
laughed out loud.
    "The man with
brandy in his jacket doesn't have a condom? Well, don't worry, I have one in my
purse," Kelly said, "but I'd rather not use it, if that's okay. I
mean, we both have had all the tests for the club, and I always use condoms.
But because it's just oral, and because…" she stopped suddenly, and John
knew then that she had found something she didn’t want to tell him. And since
she didn’t want to tell, he would force her to do so. That was just who he was.
    "Tell me, Kelly. You said
because…"
    "Because sucking you to completion
will be special for me. I want to do something nice for you, John. I really do.
I don’t know why. I know you never do oral or even sex with anyone, but will
you let