Free My Heart is Yours by Amanda Morey Page B

Derek and Juliana weren’t even working class. They
had just been with her. And now Derek was dead. Because of her. And
pure thrill. Of what? Pure thrill of wounding three and killing
one? There was thrill in that? That was sickening.
    All the mental babble in her head was cut off by
people suddenly getting up from their seats. She numbly followed
the friends to say a final goodbye. Derek almost looked like he was
sleeping. He was dressed in his best suit, hiding the place where
the bullet went through his heart taking his young life. Staring at
his face, it seemed like he would open his eyes at any moment,
saying he got everyone good, laughing at his own sick joke. But no
matter how badly Sam wanted it, she knew it wouldn’t happen. She
took one last look, whispered “See you later, Derek.” and took a
seat between Jason and Juliana, waiting for the service to
begin.
    They drove to the cemetery in silence. Almost time
to see Derek’s body lowered into the ground for the rest of
forever.
    Jason had a little trouble walking around on the
grassy, bumpy hills so Sam helped him out. They came to the spot
where Derek would rest for eternity. His new home. He should’ve
been there. With them.
    The coffin was closed but Sam could still picture
Derek beneath the solid lid.
    The priest spoke and Sam spent the entire time
concentrating on not sobbing. She let a few tears escape but she
refused to sob. She thought back to when they all had met. In Mrs.
Schaffer’s sixth grade class. Her and Juliana had already known
each other. They had been partnered up with Derek for a lab. Derek
wasn’t happy about working with two girls at first but they
convinced him. They laughed the entire way through the lab. Derek
couldn’t believe that Sam’s parents weren’t rich. She supposed it
was because he hadn’t widened his horizons. From then on they had
been friends. Stuck together through middle school and awkward
moments. Then high school and advanced classes and more awkward
moments. That’s when Sam found out that Derek had a bit of a crush
on her but she never felt the same. They were there for her when
her parents were killed in a car wreck. They had stuck together
after high school into the ‘real world’. And now she and Juliana
would stick together in Derek’s death. When she looked up it was
time to put the flowers on his coffin. His parents went first. They
seemed to be holding up alright, but that could change after the
funeral. When they were alone and didn’t have to hold it together
for anybody anymore.
    The rest of his family went next. Juliana and Sam
were given a rose as well because they were his best friends. They
clutched each other’s hands as they placed the roses on his coffin.
The green grass seemed to be mocking his youth. They stood back and
watched as Derek was lowered six feet into the ground. Never to be
seen in the flesh again.

    Late that night, someone knocked on Sam’s door.
    “Come in.” She said. She was too distracted to hear
them fumbling with the door knob. The door opened and one of
Jason’s crutches fell onto the off-white and stain ridden
carpet.
    “Jason.” Sam said. “Why didn’t you ask me to help
you?” She handed the crutch he had dropped to him.
    “I was fine.” He said as Sam closed the door behind
him. “What are you doing?” He sat down next to her on the bed.
    “I was trying to write about what happened, but I
just can’t bring myself to. Not yet anyway.” She stared at her
journal like it was a grenade.
    “Are you gonna be okay?” Jason asked.
    “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She said as she closed her
journal.
    Jason kissed her forehead and Sam sighed in
contentment and rested her head on his shoulder. He stroked her
soft hair.
    “So,” Sam started. “How much physical therapy do you
have left?”
    “Three times a week for another five weeks.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Why are you apologizing?” Jason tilted her chin up
towards him.
    “Because you pushed me out