Free If I Could Do It Again by Ashley Stoyanoff Page B

Joshua. But I can’t stand in your way. And it really bugs me that I don’t have a right to say anything about it.”
    “You’re right,” he says. “You don’t have a right to say anything about it.”
    He doesn’t need to say anything else, although I hear the unspoken words as though he yelled them at me.
    You’re married.
    You still live with your husband.
    “I hate it,” I say. “I fucking hate that I can’t stop you from starting something up with her. But it doesn’t change anything.”
    “Aww, how cute. My baby girl is jealous.” He chuckles, but when he speaks again, his voice is serious. “You’re going to leave him, right?”
    “Yeah, I’m going to leave him,” I say honestly. “It’ll be months, maybe even a year before I get everything in order, but I’m going to leave.”
    “Promise?”
    “Yes, I promise.”
    “Then it’s settled,” he says, and I can actually hear the satisfied grin cracking his face. “I’ll tell her I’m not interested.”
    “Are you sure you can handle dealing with this?” I ask. “It’s going to take time. It’s going to be hard.”
    “You sure you can handle waiting four years for me to get out?” he counters.
    “I think so.”
    “Then I think so, too.” He pauses, and when he speaks again, his voice is playful. “Are you still at the pool?”
    I hesitate, my forehead scrunching up at the question. “Um, yeah.”
    “Why don’t you take that sexy fat ass of yours back inside and up to your bedroom, and grab your vibrator.”
    His words make me freeze. “Did you just call my ass fat?”
    “Baby,” he says, drawing out the word. “That’s just how I talk and you know I fucking love that you’ve got a big ass and hips. It’s sexy. You’re fucking sexy. Now, hurry up. I’m horny.”
    “No,” I say, shaking my head. And I’m not sexy. Not even a little. “Not now. I just don’t feel like it.”
    He laughs lightly. “Yes.”
    “I’m really not in the mood, Joshua,” I protest. “Can’t we just talk for a bit?”
    “If you’re going to be my girl,” he says, “then you need to understand that when it comes to sex the answer’s always yes. Go get your toy, beautiful. You’ll feel better once you come. Promise.”
    The words make me stall, my heart thumping so hard that it makes me dizzy.
His girl.
It’s the first time he’s ever referred to me as anything close to that. A silence falls over the line as he waits for me to respond, and I glance toward the house, pulling my legs out of the pool and standing up. “Okay.”
    “Good, now hurry up before the call cuts off again.”
    He doesn’t say anything else as I jog inside and up the stairs, and doesn’t make a sound as I open the drawer, retrieving my vibrator. Quickly I undress, dropping my clothes onto the floor as I climb up into bed. He must hear the rustling of the bed sheets, because he asks, “You ready, sweetness?”
    “Um … yeah, I’m ready.”
    “Good,” he says, sounding pleased. “I want you to turn that vibrator on and rest it on your clit. Get your pussy nice and wet for me, baby.”
    That does it.
    I’m officially in the mood.
    I shiver, turning on the vibrator. My lips part, and I let out a small, little gasp, as I rub it against my clit, whispering, “Okay.”
    “Good girl,” he says. “Now tell me what you’re picturing.”
    “I, uh … I…” I’m nervous, stammering, stumbling over my words. Ugh, if we keep doing this, I’m going to have to call one of those phone sex lines for some pointers. “I … I don’t know.”
    “I’m picturing you, hands gripping the bed, ass sticking out. Your pussy is already nice and wet, and I drop down behind you. I start kissing your ass as my hands glide down your thighs. My fingers reach your pussy and I slide a finger inside your tight channel, making my cock nice and hard.”
    I moan softly, feeling the wetness gather between my legs. I really don’t know what it is about this man, but he turns me