Free Ashes to Ashes by Jenny Han

not to see. Then he steps out of the hot tub and stalks off to the house. He can be mad all he wants, but if he thinks I’m going to sneak away with him with our friends right outside, he’s crazy.
    To Alex I say, “Your skin’s getting red.”
    Alex groans. “The plight of the fair-skinned Irish. That’s why I have to marry you, Lil, so I can stop this vicious cycle. Our kids would be so good-looking.”
    Uncomfortably, I giggle. “As long as they get my fashion sense,” I say, stretching out my legs so my toes float above the water. “And my dance skills. You have no rhythm whatsoever, Lindy.”
    Later, when we’re all out of the hot tub and it’s time to go home, Alex offers to drive me to school for my car. Reeve’s putting his sweater back on, but I know he’s listening to every word. I say, “No, that’s okay. Ash and I have more work to get done tonight.”
    Alex looks disappointed, but he leaves, and so do Reeve and Derek. Reeve doesn’t even look at me when he goes.
    Upstairs in Ash’s room, I go over to her bed to open up my computer, and I look out her window. Reeve’s truck is still here. He’s waiting for me. Reeve needs to understand that he and I aren’t happening, not ever.
    Quickly I look down at my phone and say, “Uh-oh, my mom’s texting me. She wants me home.”
    Ashlin looks up from her computer. She’s in the process of buying a new cashmere sweater. “Just give me two secs, and I’ll drive you back to your car.”
    â€œNo, that’s okay. The guys haven’t left yet. I’ll get one of them to take me.” I grab my bag and my computer and give Ash a hug, and then I’m running down the stairs and out the front door.
    I climb into Reeve’s truck, and for a moment we’re both silent. He has a scowl on his face. “What’s the matter with you tonight?” I ask.
    He fumes. “I wanted to see you, I wanted to have fun, and I walk in on you and Alex cozy in the hot tub, and you won’t even tell me what you were talking about.” He makes an annoyed face, which gets me so mad.
    â€œWe were talking about Rennie!” I burst out. “And, Reeve, you never want to talk about her!”
    Reeve turns white. “What good does it do to bring up the past? She’s dead. Talking about it isn’t going to bring her back. This thing between you and me is separate from that.”
    â€œNo, it isn’t. We’re the reason Rennie died, and it’s eating me up inside. She never would have been driving around that night if it weren’t for us. She’d have been at her party, where she belonged—”
    â€œStop!” Reeve shouts. I jump. He’s breathing hard. “I don’t want to do this right now, okay? I can’t. So just—stop. Don’t say anything else. Please.”
    â€œOkay.” He’s shaking. I smooth my hand over his back until his breathing slows down. “It’s okay.”
    Before I can say another word, he’s got me pushed up against the window and he’s kissing me. And I’m kissing him back.
    *  *  *
    When we get to the school parking lot an hour later, I pull down the visor mirror and try to fix my hair. It’s a mess.
    Watching me, he says, “You’re the only thing that’s keeping me going.”
    My hand stills.
    â€œI can’t not see you,” he says.
    I don’t look at him, I can’t. “If we’re going to do this, no one can know. It can’t be like what happened tonight. We need to be careful.”
    Quickly he says, “Okay. I’ll do whatever you want. However you want to do it. I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m not with you, Cho.”
    And then I’m in his arms, and we’re kissing again. Just like before.

Chapter Fourteen
KAT
    A T THE END OF THE day, Alex waits for me at my locker, and