Free The Year We Turned Forty by Liz Fenton

hear him? God, I forgot how little his hands were. His smell is so delicious. And my girls, they’re so young again!” She looked at her ten-year-old twins, sitting on the edge of her bed looking wide eyed at their baby brother, their long ash-blond hair pulled into ponytails tied with pink bands. She’d forgotten how girly they’d once been, wearing tutus or dresses no matter what the weather and never leaving the house without their hair accessories.
    â€œBut I’m still in Vegas?” Gabriela said just as she stubbed her toe against a hard object. “Fuck!”
    â€œNo, you’re not. At least I don’t think so. Wait. Why don’t you know where you are?”
    â€œBecause it’s dark as hell in my room. I’m trying to find the remote control for the lights, or even the door!” Just then her hand felt the knob and she turned it. “Okay, so you’re saying—” Gabriela stopped midsentence and looked around squinting at the sunlight streaming in through a skylight in the hallway.
    â€œWell?” Jessie asked.
    â€œI’m at my house, well, my old place. The one we were living in before . . .”
    â€œYou made all that crazy money off your book and moved to The Strand in Manhattan Beach.”
    â€œYes,” Gabriela whispered, and slid to the floor, gripping the phone that she now realized was hers, her palm sweaty as her mind started computing. “You said Lucas was a day old, right? So that means I may have already told Colin I want a baby. I remember I slept in the guest room that night because I was somad at him. And that’s where I am now.” Her voice broke. “It’s too late—he’s already said no.”
    â€œGab. You don’t know that. Maybe you haven’t told him yet. Maybe you aren’t remembering it right.”
    Gabriela knew she was remembering it exactly right. Still, to this day, she could recall every word, every look, every feeling from the moment she decided she was ready to the second he shook his head and said I’m sorry. “It’s too late,” she repeated.
    â€œGabriela, don’t say that. Maybe you’ve been given this chance so you can figure out another way to convince Colin.”
    Gabriela felt a flash of hope spike in her heart. “Maybe.”
    â€œNot maybe! Yes! I don’t think we would have been chosen to come back if we didn’t have the ability to change things.”
    Gabriela nodded to herself. Jessie had a point—Gabriela was not going to take no for an answer this time, not when she knew what her future looked like. “So what was it like to see Grant?”
    â€œCrazy! He looks so different, but I like it better. He’s the old him.” Jessie thought back, remembering that he was just making it big as a freelance architect, his work having been recognized in House magazine. He’d been so excited and it had created so many opportunities—ones that he refused to turn down. But that also meant he was home much less. “The one who used to love me.” Jessie’s voice went quiet.
    â€œHe will again,” Gabriela said. “You’ll see.”
    â€œGod, I hope you’re right.”
    â€œI’m scared to see Colin. What if I say all the wrong things to him and make everything worse?”
    â€œYou’ll be fine. But be careful—don’t rush the conversation until you figure out what’s happened so far, because everything you say or do can impact our future. Remember that horrible movie with Ashton Kutcher?”
    â€œ The Butterfly Effect ?” Gabriela scoffed. “That movie was two hours of our life we’ll never get back!”
    Jessie couldn’t help but laugh.
    â€œAlthough maybe we can get it back by not watching it this time!” Gabriela added.
    â€œTrue, but maybe we could consider it research. Remember how anything he said or did differently changed