Free Summer Reading is Killing Me (Phee Jefferson Book 2) by Amy E. Lilly

caused Watson to yelp and Ferdie to claw her way across my legs. Ugh! Whose bright idea was it to do early
morning yoga? Mine. Well, Juliet’s idea if truth be told. I dragged my
exhausted carcass to the shower and leaned against the shower wall until the
warm jets of water became lukewarm.
    Slightly more awake, I toweled off and dug out the
one pair of yoga pants I owned. Juliet gave them to me last year for Christmas.
They still had tags on them. I squeezed into them. Juliet must have forgotten
my short curves required a slightly looser size than her slim, athletic frame.
I pulled a long t-shirt over my damp curls so it could cover my ample rear. I
walked into the kitchen and plugged in my percolator to start my coffee. Watson
and I went out into my small backyard for his morning sniff and potty. His
boundless terrier energy before the birds were even singing made me tired all
over again.
    Once he finished his daily doggie duties, I poured
a cup of coffee and waited for Juliet. I contemplated double fisting the coffee
so I wouldn’t have to get up for a refill. I was halfway through my second cup
when Juliet opened the kitchen door, stuck her head in and trilled, “Good
morning, Merry Sunshine!”   
    If my glower didn’t scare her, I doubted throwing
my coffee cup at her head would phase her. Groaning, I hoisted myself out of
the kitchen chair and trudged to her convertible. “I don’t know how you do
classes this early,” I grumbled.
    “It invigorates me. Once I work through my poses,
I have energy for the rest of the day. Trust me. After this morning, you’ll be
begging to join my six a.m. class every day,” Juliet said. She sipped on a
straw stuck in a bottle of gelatinous green goo.
    “What in the blue blazes are you drinking?” I
gagged as she slurped the slimy mixture again.
    “It is a spinach, banana, avocado and wheat grass
smoothie. Great for the complexion, and it helps maximize my energy,” Juliet
slurped down another slug of slime and smiled at me. Her front teeth had a glob
of green stuck between them. I didn’t tell her. Paybacks for the early morning
perkiness she refused to tone down to a more pleasant and tolerable level.
    We pulled into the community center next to the
lakeshore. Several yoga-panted women made their way into the center ahead of
us. I spotted Willow in the group wearing a tie-dyed shirt and her dreads tied
on top of her head. Juliet bounded behind them. I plodded after her and took my
place at the back of the room.
    A chubby girl rushed in right before class
started. With stringy leaf-brown hair, glasses and grubby black velour
sweatpants, she didn’t seem like the type to enjoy yoga. Heck. Who was I
kidding? I wasn’t the type to enjoy yoga.
       “Hi. I’m Phee .
I’m new to yoga. How about you?” I whispered as Juliet encouraged us to breathe
in through our noses and “ha” out our mouths.
    “Shawna,” she whispered back and lifted her arms
as she inhaled. “Just follow the teacher the best you can. Yoga is about flow
and energy. Don’t push yourself past your comfort level.” Shawna moved with a
litheness that belied her bulky frame. “I’ve practiced yoga for years, but when
I started, I was clumsier than a newborn calf.”
    I tried to follow Juliet as she progressed to
something called a sun salutation. I couldn’t keep up because I tried to watch
the people attending the class with one eye and follow Juliet’s movements with
my other eye. As she instructed us to move into downward facing dog, I lifted
my rear and heard a ripping noise. I felt a draft of cool air on my ample
derriere. Holy toddlers in tiaras! My new yoga pants had split. I attempted to
stand from my downward position, lost my balance and tumbled into the
gray-haired woman to my right. This set in motion a domino effect as she
crashed into the anemic girl next to her. As we fell into a jumbled mess of
arms and legs, the rest of the class stopped and watched aghast at the chaos in
the