Free 4 Death at the Happiness Club by Cecilia Peartree Page A

future events?' said Maisie Sue. 'A barn dance is always good for breaking the ice.'
    'A barn dance. Hmm. I must admit we hadn't thought of that.'
    'Or do you Brits go more for tea-dances?' she asked. 'I can do either. I was once the Waltz Queen of Red River County. That was some while ago, of course.'
    'Great,' muttered Sean, sliding along the bench and rising to his feet in one movement. 'We'll certainly consider your ideas. But would you like a membership form?'
    'OK, I guess so,' she said, and accepted a bundle of A4 sheets. There seemed to be a lot of boxes to complete.
    'It's a computerised matching form too,' he said. 'It maximises your chances of meeting that special someone. It helps us to make sure people are mixing with each other in the right way too. So we can give clients a better service. There's a space to add in ideas for extra events - you could put your barn dance and tea dance in there if you want.'
    The boat rocked suddenly and he lurched forward, almost colliding with Amaryllis in the gangway.
    'Now, Ms Peebles,' he said to her. 'Haven't I told you already about the danger of wandering about on the top deck?'
    He sounded almost avuncular. Amaryllis wouldn't like that.  And certainly the look she gave him as he disappeared down the steps to the lower deck was not at all pleasant. If Maisie Sue had been prone to exaggeration she might even have called it murderous.
    Amaryllis slid on to the bench.
    'You're not going to join his club, are you?' she said.
    'I was kind of planning on it,' said Maisie Sue. 'It seems like the only way I'm going to meet anyone in the timescale I need.'
    'But look at the people you're going to meet here!' said Amaryllis, waving her hand around to include Jemima and Dave, a creepy-looking man in a camouflage jacket with binoculars, and Chief Inspector Smith, whom Maisie Sue hadn't noticed before but who was sitting a couple of rows behind her reading a book. 'I don't know why he's bothered to come either,' she added, lowering her voice only slightly. 'He's been reading his book all the time.'
    'Well, you never know,' said Maisie Sue. The optimist inside was working really hard. 'Sometimes people can be quite surprising.'
    'I don't think so,' said Amaryllis scornfully. 'Now, I've been thinking about identity theft.'
    'Sssh,' said Maisie Sue, glancing over her shoulder at Chief Inspector Smith.
    'Don't worry about him - he isn't taking any notice. The classic way of doing it is to take over a dead person's identity. But nowadays with computers and so on, it's become more feasible to take on the identity of a living person.'
    'Now, you just stop right there, Amaryllis Peebles!' said Maisie Sue. 'Both of these options seem to me to be downright illegal and quite immoral too. I don't know what sort of person you think I am! I'm not the one who spent a lifetime deceiving people in intelligence work, and pretending to be someone else, and I've never deceived my own partner by running off to Gdansk with a blonde floozy either.'
    'No, I suppose not,' said Amaryllis. 'Well, if you do decide that's the only way forward, just say the word and I'll set it all going for you. I've been trying to work out the best way of hacking the Immigration Service computer systems in case we decide to go that route. So don't worry, there's always that option.'
    'That also sounds illegal to me,' said Maisie Sue. 'It would be in the States anyway.'
    'Sometimes you have to break eggs to make an omelette,' said Amaryllis, cryptically.
    'You always have to break eggs to make an omelette,' said Chief Inspector Smith, suddenly appearing behind them. 'Are you planning something dodgy again?'
    'Are you on duty here or what?' said Amaryllis indignantly. 'We were just sharing cookery tips, weren't we, Maisie Sue? And by the way, Mr Smith, did you know Maisie Sue makes really good pancakes? If you ever happen to be in her house, say at breakfast time, make sure you ask her to make you some.'
    She slid along the bench