Free Jak Barley-Private Inquisitor and the Case of the Seven Dwarves by Dan Ehl

overhead opening. This time I let it descend as far as the first joint. Twisting about so my sword was partially behind me, I swung it back around as a lumberman would drive his axe into a tree. The creature squealed a string of violent, twirpy chirpings that made my skin crawl and teeth hurt.
    I might not polish my blade as often as I should, but I do keep it well whetted. The sword had split through the more vulnerable area of the joint, and though not completely severing the lower part of the leg, the blow had to have crippled it.
    Still, the monster spider had seven legs to go. There was nothing to do but wait and hope the creature became weary and left before my torch died. Several times I poked the flame into the opening just to let the spider know its meal had not fallen asleep.
    I am not sure how much time passed before my torch started the sputtering that precedes its demise. The thought of being in total darkness with a hungry, giant wolf spider was not comforting. The notion of some giant hairy bug slamming me to the floor in complete darkness, ramming a suction tube into my navel and sucking me dry was not one to soothe my nerves. I found myself shivering, though the cave's temperature had not changed.
    More debris began falling from the shaft. The spider must have sensed I was about to become blind and helpless. All Duburoake school children learn wolf spiders can detect their prey by sensing body heat. It would see me, but I would not be able to see it.
    In preparation of the imminent attack, I again moved the blade back over my shoulder as I would an axe. The muscles in my back and right leg were knotting and I wanted nothing so much as to be able to stand straight and stretch.
    Again I wished my instructors at the private inquisitor academy had detailed what course of action could be taken when stranded miles within a Hades-black labyrinth of tunnels with a giant wolf spider preparing to dine upon your body juices, leaving just a wrinkled husk for your friends to find--if your remains were ever discovered and not finished off by avaricious cavern rats.
    I shifted my weight and could tell my left leg was going to sleep. And I recalled my imprisonment by brigands while on the way to Stagsford. I had thought that about as bad as it could get. I had come to the next day with bright sunlight nearly blinding my aching eyes. I had to force my lids open. The floor of the valley was gently rotating beneath my head. I was hanging over a chasm, upside down, bound, and gagged. And from the light breeze playing about my aching body, I could tell I was naked.
    It would be safe to say, until finding myself in this tunnel, I had never found myself in a more troubling dilemma--except maybe during my recent trip to Duburoake.
    I had found myself the victim of outlaws who had left me swinging naked and upside down from a rope above a deep crevice. I could not even yell for help because it was unlikely there would have been assistance on that remote highway. My slow spinning had brought me around to view the rock wall. Clutching to the stone face with large sucker toes were a number of tiny, green lizards. They nervously scampered back and forth while never taking their bright red eyes off me, like anxious puppies scared to make the jump to their master's wagon.
    One finally gained the courage and leaped--landing and clutching onto the ropes that bound my arms to my side. It forthwith tried a tasting of the large feast before I jerked from the needle-sharp nip. The lizard did not have a secure grip and my spasm sent it toppling into the void. Its mates paused in their pacing long enough to watch their unlucky hatchmate dwindle into nothingness then resumed their hungry scurrying.
    My revolution continued and I again faced out over the gorge. I felt the mad scrambling of another lizard as it slid down my back to finally catch in my hair. I vigorously shook my head and dislodged the second attacker at the expense of violently