Free His Ever After (Love Square) by Jessica Ingro

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    She kisses me gently before tracing my lips with her tongue. I open my mouth, allowing her tongue to slide in against mine. My hands toy with the hem of her shirt before running up the bare skin of her back, pulling her torso into mine and deepening the kiss. I wasn’t planning on having sex with her tonight, but now my body is starting to fire on all cylinders. I didn’t think I’d have the energy to get it up after working an overnight last night. Since I’m switching back to days for the next few weeks, I’m trying to stay up until a “normal” bedtime, so I can adjust to the change easier. My dick is definitely proving that thought wrong right now though.
    Brooke pulls her mouth away and rests her forehead against mine. “We need to talk,” she pants against my lips. I grip her hips as a silent encouragement for her to continue.
    “I really want us to try for another baby,” she whispers.
    “Brooke –” I start, but she puts her index finger over my lips silencing me.
    “I know what you’re going to say. Will you please just hear me out?” I nod at her in agreement.
    She takes a deep breathe in an attempt to compose herself and ready her debate.
    “I know we aren’t married yet and I know things have been crazy between us lately, but Jacob, there is an ache inside me. A void that needs to be filled. After the initial shock of our unplanned pregnancy, I was elated that I was going to be a mom. I want nothing more than to have a piece of us growing inside me, to be able to give it unconditional love for the rest of its life. When you and I are good together, we are good together. Just think of all the love we’d have for this baby.” Her eyes fill with tears as she continues, “It could grow up with Candace and Grace. If we wait for a big wedding and all that, we’ll be waiting forever. I know you don’t want my dad’s money paying for all of it, and I’m okay with that. Except in the meantime, we are waiting for our lives to start when we could be building that life now.”
    She bites her lip and looks so vulnerable. It had to have been hard for her to open up and tell me what she is really feeling, which makes what I’m about to say all that much worse.
    “I’m sorry. I’m not ready yet. It might not be what you want to hear right now, but it is the Gods honest truth. I’m not ready. And I need to be ready before I father a child. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t happy we were going to have a baby before. It just means that now that we have a choice, I choose for us to wait until we’ve been together longer and are on a more solid footing.” I speak softly, trying to minimize the harshness of my words.
    I know I’m right. It would be crazy for us to have a baby now. We are both on different pages in many aspects of our lives. I want to know that my relationship is meant to stand the test of time before having kids. And there is no way I’ll bring a child into this world not knowing if its mother is going to be a raging bitch or sweet as pie from one minute to the next. I need to see how this relationship plays out before I consider taking that step.
    Brooke starts sobbing and tries to get up from my lap. My hands tighten on her hips, keeping her in place. I don’t want her to run away right now, while we are finally communicating properly. I reach up and put pressure on the back of her head, tucking her face into my neck while she cries.
    I don’t try to say nice words to lessen her pain. I don’t even try to stop her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry and release the emotions that I know she’s been holding inside. Hopefully, this will be one more step towards her being healed.
    Once her tears have slowed and all that remains are a few little hiccups, I put my fingers under her chin and pull her face up to mine. The soft kiss I plant on her mouth is a promise. A promise to give her whatever she needs, only if and when the time is right.
    “You okay?” I murmur