Free A Family for Christmas by Kate Welsh

he was missing by being so far away from home. It quickly became a habit that extended to avoiding self-examination, as well.
    After college he’d bulldozed through life putting. one foot in front of the other, never looking back but never looking toward the future, either. He’d made business plans but never personal ones. He’d met and married Maggie because he loved her to distraction—but he’d never really thought it out.
    Then had come the moment when a discouraged, heartbroken Maggie had brought up the idea of adoption. Again, he hadn’t thought. The niggling fear that he wouldn’t make a good father had grown in himquietly, insidiously. And he’d realized it in that blinding moment of clarity. Grasping on to the only excuse open to him, he’d declared that he didn’t believe in adoption. That he’d never raise another man’s child.
    And he’d stuck with his story for years while he pushed forward on a treadmill of his own making. He’d ignored Maggie’s unhappiness, until seemingly without warning—though now he knew there had been plenty—she’d left.
    And he’d seen what his stand had done to both of them.
    But did he stop, take stock, think about his future or the mistakes of the past? No!
    Again, he’d pushed on. He’d been lonely, so he’d started dating, never giving a thought to the fact that his divorce wasn’t final. He’d filled every hour with work, concerts, plays, cocktail parties and fundraising dinners. But he never, ever let himself think about his life—where it was going or where it had been.
    When Maggie had begged for reconciliation, he hadn’t considered her request for even a second. He’d told her they were better off apart and had dismissed her time and again. He’d thought he was trying to protect her, but seeing her tonight, her pain, the way she pointed the finger of blame at herself alone, he knew he’d been lying to himself. It was easy to do if you never stopped to contemplate your actions.
    The truth was that it had been himself he was trying to protect, and it still was. But now he wasn’t sure it was worth the price. He was here in the carriage house facing another lonely night. Another lonelynight in a lonely bed with Maggie just across the yard in hers. And the worst part was that he knew he was welcome anytime he decided to take a chance on resuming their marriage.
    But as much as he wanted Maggie in his arms and in his bed, he wasn’t ready to forgive her for leaving, or to take a chance on being hurt again.

Chapter Six
    M aggie walked into what was to be her new room. The beautiful mahogany Victorian bedroom suite had a Caribbean influence. She and Sarah had enhanced that feeling with yards of soft netting draped as curtains, swags and a loose flowing canopy. The walls were covered in a creamy beige, woven-grass wallpaper, adding to the Caribbean theme.
    She loved this room, and it didn’t bother her at all that it had been Sarah and Michael’s room. In fact, it was a comfort to be here. She felt closer to them here where they had shared so much love and happiness. Knowing they were happy with the Lord now had already helped dull her grief a little, and she knew that they would want those they’d left behind to celebrate their lives rather than dwell on their untimely deaths.
    But the room didn’t feel quite right she thought And as she sank down onto the high four-poster bed,she knew why that was. The room had been designed for two. For love. For romance. It wasn’t a room to be alone in, and the very atmosphere reminded her that she was alone. And lonely. But that was what her life was right now. Lonely.
    Oh, she had the children to fill her days, and she knew that taking care of them would keep her busy until well into each evening. But there was always this solitary time at the end of each day. It was a time during their marriage when