Free Heart Of A Cowboy by Margaret Daley Page B

Zachary how to adjust the telescope—one she’d spent a bonus on to get her son two Christmases ago. At the time the telescope had been taller than Nicholas. He spent hours outside watching the sky at night. He was determined to discover something new, and if she knew her son, he probably would one day.
    â€œWhat are you all looking at?”
    Zachary peered at her. “The rings of Saturn. I can’t believe I’m actually seeing them.”
    She recalled the first time she’d seen them or the craters on the moon or Mars. “Yeah. They’re neat.” She watched father and son, and her heart expanded against her rib cage. She still needed to talk with Nicholas without Zachary around, but looking at them together firmed the rightness of her decision. “It’s getting close to your bedtime.”
    â€œAh, Mom.”
    â€œYou’ve got to get up early for school. I’m sure you and Zachary will spend a lot of time together in the future. You need to take your bath—”
    In the dim light from the kitchen, Nicholas pivoted, his arms straight at his sides, his hands balled. “I want to spend time with him now. ”
    Stunned by the angrily spoken word, Jordan took a step back. “Nicholas.”
    â€œPartner, I need to leave, but why don’t you and yourmother come out to the ranch tomorrow after school. I want to introduce you to my sister and her family. You’ve already met Ashley, but I have two nephews, too.” Zachary stood behind her son—their son—his face in the shadows.
    â€œBut—but…” spluttered out of Nicholas’s mouth before he closed it and stalked toward the door. Its slamming vibrated through the clear night air.
    Jordan flinched, her eyes shutting as she scrubbed her hands down her face.
    â€œDo you blame him?”
    Zachary’s quiet question chipped away at what composure she had left. “I blame you for not letting me prepare him for the news.”
    â€œOh, I see. I was supposed to wait some more time to get to know my son while you come up with a way to explain why you never told me or him about who I am. Let’s face it. There’s no easy way to tell him you kept the truth from him and me.”
    Anger and guilt tangled together to form a knot in her throat. And now she had to deal with the consequences of that decision. How could she have thought that she could come home and continue merrily along with her life as she had for twenty-nine years? Because she hadn’t known Zachary was in Tallgrass.
    â€œI’m going, but I want my family to get to know Nicholas. He wants to come to the ranch tomorrow and meet them.”
    â€œIf your family had given you my messages all those years ago, we wouldn’t be standing here like this.” She’d been wrong—but not the only one.
    He drilled a look through her. “Touché. I’ll give you that, but it still doesn’t excuse what you did.” Skirting her, he descended the steps to the deck and made his way around to the front of the house.
    Jordan sank against the lounge chair near her, clasping its back to keep upright. Zachary’s intenseness had sucked the energy from her, and she would need all she had to speak with Nicholas before he went to bed.
    She would love to postpone this conversation. Forever. But she couldn’t.
    Lord, I know I was wrong. Please help me to fix this with Nicholas. I need You more than ever.
    Shoving away from the chair, she headed for the door, then up the stairs toward her son’s bedroom. She and Nicholas had always been close. This wouldn’t change that. She hoped.
    She rapped on his door, then entered, expecting him to be at his computer since he hadn’t been in the bathroom. Instead the chair was empty. When she scanned the room, she discovered him already under the covers, his head barely peeking out. He always prolonged going to sleep, hating to miss