Free Heart Of A Cowboy by Margaret Daley

of ten. When he skimmed over the other titles, his gaze lighting upon War and Peace, questions flooded Zachary’s mind. How smart was his child? How was he gonna relate to him? The fact he’d missed the first ten years struck him like a punch to the gut. He was out of step with his son and didn’t know if they would ever have anything in common. His one chance to be a father.
    â€œSo you really enjoy math?” He’d hated the subject in school.
    â€œYes, sir. It comes easy to me.”
    Zachary heard the creak of the bed as Jordan stood. He slipped a look toward her, hoping she would leave him alone with Nicholas, but she remained nearby. The feel of her gaze on him made him clutch his hands together. “What don’t you like?”
    â€œReally not much. I guess writing. But I love to read, especially history and biographies. You can learn so much when you read about a famous person.”
    â€œWhat was the last book you read?” Zachary couldn’t remember the last one he’d read—had to be years ago.
    â€œA six-volume series by Winston Churchill concerning World War II. Next I want to read about Hitler to get a better sense of what happened at that time.”
    Zachary’s mouth hung open. Quickly he snapped it closed. I should have seen the resemblance. Figured it out. But I never thought Jordan would keep something like that from me. The anger, just below the surface, surged to the foreground along with self-doubt. I’m so not prepared to be a father.
    â€œI find it’s necessary to read both sides of an issue or topic. Don’t you think?”
    â€œYeah. What about you, Jordan?” Zachary swung his attention toward the woman who’d not readied him for this moment. He’d enjoyed history in school while Jordan hadn’t. Maybe he could find a common bond with his son after all. He could go to the bookstore, find some books on World War II.
    â€œSure, both sides are important.”
    The uncomfortable look on her face didn’t vindicate him. For his son’s sake he would be tied to Jordan, and he needed to make this work, somehow.
    â€œMom, what are we having for dinner?”
    â€œDinner? Uh…” Her mouth twisted as she shot a glance toward the door. “I guess I can fix some sandwiches.”
    â€œWill you stay for dinner?” His son clicked off the computer.
    Zachary didn’t know if he could sit at a table with Jordan and act as if everything would be okay. It wouldn’t be. And yet the eagerness in Nicholas’s expression prompted him to say, “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
    â€œFine. Why don’t you come help me?” Jordan stared right at Zachary.
    â€œMy idea of fixing a meal is opening a can of soup.”
    She blew a breath out, her gaze darting between Zachary and the doorway. “It shouldn’t take me five minutes. Nicholas, make sure you wash up.”
    After she hurried from the room, Nicholas checked his watch. “She’ll probably have it done in four.”
    â€œWhy do you say that?” Zachary asked, amused for the first time that day.
    â€œShe’s afraid to leave us alone.”
    â€œVery perceptive.”
    â€œNot really. She’s just very obvious. What happened with you and Mom?”
    It was his turn to squirm. “You don’t pull any punches. How old are you?” He knew, but the question just slipped out because the more he was around his son the older he seemed.
    â€œTen but sometimes I feel a lot older. I was sick a lot when I was younger and I spent a lot of time reading books. At least with them I could go places, do things I couldn’t otherwise. That’s what those pins on the map represent. Blue are my first choices of where I want to go. Red are the back-up ones.”
    Suddenly Zachary looked hard at his son. He hadn’t hada chance to be a boy. Maybe that was what he could do for his son. Teach him to play, have fun.