Free Love & The Goddess by Mary Elizabeth Coen

to tell you how wonderful you are, aren’t we, and what a failure I am? My
marriage break-up doesn’t tie in with your family values, does it?” It all came blurting out. “You push your kids into studying what you choose for them and try to arrange
suitable marriages for them, and you call that success? More like intimidation!”
    “You’re just jealous of me! Just because I was always Daddy’s favourite!”
    “And you had to tell me Daddy was disappointed that I wasn’t a boy, since mam could have no more children after me. You told me my birth ruptured her womb and she had to have an
emergency hysterectomy! Did you really have to tell me that at eleven years of age on the day of Gran’s funeral?”
    She paused for a moment, then said quietly, “Look, if I did say that I was only fourteen and I didn’t really mean it. You seem to have carried that grudge for a long time.”
    Tears stung my eyes. “But you did mean it. And you knew I was upset over Gran’s death! You pretend to be sophisticated but you like to get down and dirty, and you just love sticking
the knife in whenever I’m at a low ebb!”
    Her face turning red, Liz grabbed her coat from the back of a chair and stormed out, banging the front door. I couldn’t believe it. We had clashed before but this was totally off the
Richter scale. At least I’d finally stood up to her. And maybe that was the problem. I used to be a mouse but all this conflict had lit a fire in my belly. Knowing I was on my own was
certainly making me tougher. And maybe it would make me a lot more honest. I’d felt foolish, having to make up a cover story for myself, sneaking around like a teenager, I didn’t want
to have to do that again.
    After heading upstairs and getting ready for bed, I turned on my laptop. Once again, I entered the doctor’s name in a search engine and scrolled down through the various pages I had not
bothered to read. On one site, a blog was devoted to complaints about the quality of his work, some people calling him a “botox-crazed brute”. Why hadn’t I checked more thoroughly
before?
    I’d had a lucky escape. I should have trusted my earlier gut instinct, when I’d spoken to him on the phone, but I hadn’t been able to let go of the fantasy I had constructed
earlier. From now on, I definitely needed to avoid doctors.
     
     
     

Chapter Seven
    B etween the ridiculous date and the unpleasantness with Liz, I was relieved to leave Dublin and arrive back in the west. There had always
been an element of sibling rivalry from as far back as I could remember. But what had happened this time? A niggling voice in my head told me I’d been wrong to resurrect an old grudge against
my only sister. Later that night, as I tossed and turned in bed, I felt ashamed – forgiveness was obviously something I needed to work on. The lack of it could cause embitterment and poison a
person along with all their relationships. I had to contact Liz and set things straight. She had been there for me many times in the past, when I most needed her. No grovelling apologies – I
didn’t want her taking over my life. Just clear the air and silently wish her well.
    In the morning, I found one missed call from Liz and three missed texts on my phone – two advertising sales, the third from Ella. I hit the playback button on my message minder:
“I’m sorry, Kate. You were right when you said I was out of order. I felt sad that you and Trevor had split up. The following day I realised I had not been there for you during the past
weeks. Hope you forgive me? Liz.”
    “It’s fine, Liz. Everything’s forgiven. Please forgive me for carrying a grudge.” In many respects, I was more taken aback by her humble apology than I had been by her
attack. Liz had never been one to back down before. Maybe she was becoming more enlightened, or maybe I was finally learning to stand up for myself. Either way I was glad to be on better terms with
her. Just as I was