my fault.”
“How can you say that? You didn’t want her to take the risk,” Eref said. But he knew what it was like to carry guilt. She would always blame herself, whether she deserved it or not.
“I didn’t want her to leave! It was selfish. I thought—” Caer caught a sob in her throat. Eref tried to reach out to her, but she brushed his hand away. “I thought, what if this is the last time I see her? What if they catch her? What if something goes wrong?”
“You were protecting her, Caer. It was the right thing to do.”
“Is that so? Well, then, why is she with them now? Tell me that!” Caer’s voice shook, this time with anger. “I know you can’t see a single thing. You’re staring at a knot in the tree right now, not at me. You’re completely blind, but you aren’t deaf. Tell me, Eref. What did you hear?”
Eref’s jaw tightened, and his throat constricted. He turned away and faced the sound of the river. “I heard her fall.”
“Right. She fell. And what kind of fall would you say it sounded like, Eref?”
He couldn’t believe her tone. It was something he hadn’t imagined could come out of a creature like Caer. She was cold and furious. Her words came at him like little shards of glass.
“She hit some branches.”
“Oh, she did? Really? ”
“Caer, why are you angry with m—”
“She hit some branches? Oh, well, you should know what that’s like. How did you feel after your fall?”
“It was…. My bones were broken.”
“That’s right. Your bones were broken. Now, let me fill you in on this part since you were too busy being blind.”
His heart pounded with embarrassment and anger. He hadn’t meant to bring this on them. She had to know that. Why was she treating him this way?
“Vul’s right arm and left leg were both bent completely backward when she hit the ground. She tried to hop away on one foot, holding her twisted arm with her other hand. Blood was pouring from her forehead. That’s what you didn’t see, Eref. That’s what I did to my friend.” She broke down again, and this time her tears fell into the river at their feet.
This picture of Vul filled the darkness in Eref’s eyes and froze his heart with a new horror. Vul was brave to have done what she did.
He should have been the one to fall. He should have been caught.
Caer sat next to him, crying. Of course she was angry with him. She hated him because he’d had the power to save Vul, and he hadn’t thought of it in time.
It wasn’t Caer’s fault. It was his . She’d accidentally knocked Vul to the ground when she should have shoved him off instead. Maybe Caer had expected him to jump all along. Maybe they had both been waiting for him to do it.
He couldn’t believe he had sat there and let it happen.
But every time he opened his mouth to say this, he stopped. Now was too late. Taking the blame now would only sound like a plea for sympathy. And that would only make her despise him more.
He hadn’t jumped because he didn’t think quickly enough.
He couldn’t take the blame because he didn’t have the guts.
“Caer,” he said.
“Eref, I’m so sorry for what I said just now. I’m angry with myself. I don’t know if you know how it feels to hurt a friend, but it’s—” She broke off to clear her throat. “Anyway, I’m sorry.”
Eref hesitated and finally said, “I do know how it feels.”
“What?”
“I let somebody down back home. I broke a promise.”
“Yeah?” She didn’t sound impressed. “What happened when you broke your promise?”
Eref listened to the splashing of the water for a moment. He thought back to that day, years ago, when he’d sworn to save Balor from the Eighteener Entrance. There was no Balor anymore now. Not the real Balor. “He died.”
Caer made a soft sound as she drew in a breath. Then she spoke, a little more gently. “Who was he?”
“My best friend.”
Caer fell into another thoughtful silence. She didn’t cry this time, but her