Free Dirty Work by Larry Brown Page B

many better than her. Don’t bring your mama into this. She’s happy where she’s at. But don’t ask no more questions along that line. Some things you ain’t meant to know.”
    “Well I figgered You knowed her. She the one raised me. But listen here, how long You reckon I gonna have to lay here if nothin don’t happen?”
    The Lord looked a little uneasy then. And see, He can’t tell no lie. I mean, He whipped the coondog shit out of them moneychangers in His temple, but that was something else. He
ain’t
gonna lie.
    He said, “I wish you wouldn’t ask me that, Braiden.” Then He looked around. “You ain’t got any cigarettes in here, have you?”
    I told Him they was some over here in this drawer. I told Him I didn’t know what He wanted to be smoking for.He got up and went over to the table and got a couple out. Said I just didn’t know what all He had to put up with. Asked me did I want Him to light me one while He was lighting Him one. I said yessir and please.
    He got His going and got me one going and then sat there holding it for me while I smoked. You could tell He had a lot on His mind. And here I was worrying Him some more.
    “Look, Braiden. I been around a long time. You know God made man in His image. Made him out of dust and blowed the breath of life into him. Give him Eden, and give him Eve. And they had two sons. And look what happened there. It ain’t been any different ever since. There has always been wars, and there is always going to be wars. Always been people mean enough to kill babies. Always going to be. Some people kill people all their lives, and then get caught, and sentenced to death, and then they want to be Christians. Just to keep from getting fried. And We can’t keep them out. You wouldn’t believe how many death-row murderers We’ve got up there right now.”
    “That what You stand for, though,” I said. He let me take a drag and then pulled it away. Thumped some ashes in the ashtray.
    “Yeah, well, but I mean they’ve done stuff that just makes you sick to hear about it. And some little girl or somebody had to go through it. And then she’s got to run into him up there. It just makes for awkward conversation, Braiden.”
    I flat out asked Him: “How long I gonna have to lay here, Jesus?”
    He looked sad when I said that. He picked up His cigarette and looked out the window. One of them helicopters was starting to come down on the pad. Jesus looked awful sad.
    “One more for me,” he said. I guess they was somebody dead on it.
    “Jesus,” I said.
    “You better talk right to this guy.”
    “How long?”
    “I can’t promise anything.”
    “You know, though. Don’t You, Lord?”
    “Yeah. I know.”
    I ought not’ve done it. Raised my voice. Not to Him. “Then tell me! How long? How much longer I got to put up with this? Look how long I done put up with it!”
    Sure oughten to have done it. Made Him hot. Seen why that little fig tree withered when it didn’t have no figs and He cursed it. Woo. Like to withered me.
    “You don’t like living?” He said. “Life’s what He gave you, all of us.”
    And damn if I didn’t mess up again.
    “He didn’t intend for some of us to be fucked up like this.”
    Oo He looked at me like I was the serpent himself. Eyes went cold, and just for a second He forgot Who He was. Voice went down a notch or two.
    “Don’t you talk to me like that, Braiden. I don’t like that word.”
    “All right, Lord,” I said. “I’m sorry. I’m
sorry!
But patience is
hard
after twenty-two years! You blink Your eyes in that length of time! Not me!
Jesus,
Jesus!”
    I got broke down then. He come over and patted me on the shoulder for a while. I got over it. I straightened myself up and He reached and got some Kleenex and wiped my nose and I got myself right.
    Had my voice meek because I remembered what They said about the lambs.
    “I just want to know if it gonna be much longer.”
    “No, Braiden. It won’t be much