Free Return to Thebes by Allen Drury Page B

will indeed come the time—to act.
    Yet what do I contemplate when I say “the time to act”?
    My mind shudders away from it.
    We say we are talking about two carvings in two minor tombs of the pathetic coronation durbar and what they should represent to posterity. In reality we are talking of something else.
    Behind them lies the face of death.
    So far we have come along the road with Nefer-Kheperu-Ra and his bemused and fatefully willing brother … my two little nephews, who so short a while ago laughed and tumbled at my feet! Of them I use the word “death!” May Amon and Aten and all the gods forgive me the thought … and may they understand, in horror and compassion, why it is that Aye, Private Secretary, Councilor, Divine Father-in-law, must now face the fact that for him, as for others, it is a thought that can no longer be put aside.
    It is not enough to catalogue the wasting of temples, the withering of empire, the corruption of the land. It is not enough to talk of gods destroyed, of brothers shameless in public spectacle, of old ways thwarted and traditions upside down. It is more than that. It is ma’at, the fitness of things in all its aspects, that Akhenaten destroys with what he does.… It is this he destroys now simply by continuing to exist, simply by continuing to be the living symbol of all that he has done against ma’at and the safety and preservation of the Two Lands.
    I have tried for a very long time to follow him, rationalizing much, excusing much, justifying much. When he asked me to stand at his right hand years ago as assistant high priest of the Aten, I did so, thinking I could thereby modify and guide and in some measure control his course. When I publicly recognized my son Horemheb and advised him to accept the honors and responsibilities his cousin desired to heap upon him, I did so in the thought, which Horemheb shared, that this too would be a modifying, guiding and controlling influence.
    It has not proven so, in either case. Were it not that Kemet long ago came to respect and revere my integrity and intelligence—not giving me love, but giving me something I value more because in my mind it is more important, namely respect—I should now myself be suffering the secret grumblings, the growing fear and hatred that surround Pharaoh in the minds of his people. Were it not that Horemheb, too, has been universally respected and admired for his diligence, his loyalty, his great shrewdness and his obvious deep love for Kemet, he would be suffering in the same way.
    Fortunately we have been able to escape opprobrium, retaining both the people’s confidence and Pharaoh’s, and it is this which not only gives us the opportunity but imposes upon us the obligation to assist in whatever is decided tonight. We will, in fact, assist in the deciding itself, for we are come now to the moment when all must be decided so that Kemet may be reborn and go on in the eternal glory that is rightfully hers.
    We have wasted too much time: the Two Lands have drifted too far. Now, very late, we must pull them back.
    In this enterprise my sister is the guiding force, as she has been the guiding force in so many things for the good of Kemet for so many years. I doubt if even now, confronted though we are by so many failures and misdeeds of Akhenaten, we should dare to even think of deposing him were it not for his mother’s indomitable character and implacable will. I can only imagine the endless hours, days, nights of torment she must have gone through these past three years to reach the point she has: for she was always a loving mother, and she, too, has traveled far, very far, with Nefer-Kheperu-Ra and Ankh-Kheperu-Ra before coming at last to the conclusion I think she has: that, for the good of Kemet, they must go.
    What form this will take we do not know—do not dare express as yet, though I think tonight we will.
    Possibly the gods will come to our aid and it will happen naturally, for Akhenaten is