Free The Dells by Michael Blair

actually. He wasn’t exactly handsome. His jawwas crooked, his nose was bent, and there was something oddly asymmetrical about his cheekbones. In fact, he looked as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his face. But he seemed to be in great shape, didn’t drink much, didn’t smoke, and, most refreshing, did not litter his speech with profanity, whereas she had a vocabulary that would make Tony Soprano blush. He wasn’t a prude. Swearing just wasn’t a habit he’d acquired. She wondered what his views were on cunnilingus.
    â€œWhat’s funny?” Hal asked tartly.
    â€œEh?”
    â€œYou laughed.”
    â€œDid I?”
    â€œYes, you did.”
    â€œSorry.”
    Poor Hal. He was as unlike his brother as a man could be. He was overweight, drank too much, smoked (although he didn’t know she knew), swore, albeit not as much as she did, and seemed to think that oral sex of any variety was disgusting. A man who doesn’t like fellatio, her friend Dinah had said to her once, was as rare as a duck that doesn’t like water. “Not that I’m especially keen on it,” she’d added, “but I don’t mind doing it if I know I can expect something in return. Fortunately, Clark is as happy to give as to receive.” Maureen’s experience with either was sadly limited.
    Nor was Hal the same man she’d married twentyfive years ago. Maybe what she found so attractive and exciting about Shoe was that he reminded her a little of Hal when he’d been younger. Or maybe she was just making excuses for herself. There was an element of danger about Shoe that Hal had never possessed. There was also an odd, almost contradictory vulnerability about him. Shoe brought out the protective side of her that Hal never had, but at the same time he brought out her submissive side as well. Although she had never been a fanof the adventure romance novels Dinah consumed like air, Maureen laughed at the sudden and completely ridiculous image of herself on the heaving deck of a stormtossed sailing ship, bodice of her gown ripped, clinging to Shoe’s sinewy arm as he steered the ship between treacherous shoals to the safety of a sheltered bay, where they made tender passionate love on a white sand beach.
    â€œWhat’s funny now?” Hal demanded as he turned the car into the driveway of their house in Oakville and shut down the engine.
    â€œYou don’t want to know,” Maureen muttered, half under her breath.

chapter nine
    The envelope fell from between the pages of a pink, vinyl-covered diary with a tiny clasp lock, which she’d had to break open with a nail file. It was a standard No. 10 business envelope, folded once. The crease was sharp and the paper crackled dryly as she unfolded it. There was no stamp, no return address, just her first name written large on the front. She lifted the flap of the envelope and extracted a single sheet of typewriter paper, folded three times. It was a letter, written in a neat, even hand.
    Dear Rachel,
    I’m sorry to have to say goodbye to you like this, rather than in person. Please forgive me. I hope you will not be too angry with me for too long. That would make me sad. Much sadder that I am already.
    I will miss all you kids — you, Marty, Bobby, Mickey, and the others — but I will miss you most of all. I will never have children of my own
and getting to know you and the other kids — But mostly you! — made me realize how much I will be missing.
    Please tell the other kids goodbye for me. Especially Marty. She’s very lucky to have a friend like you.
    Say goodbye to your brothers, too. From what you told me about Joe, he sounds like a good boy. It’s a shame he was too shy to talk to me. I hope he and Joey can patch up their friendship. And don’t be too hard on Hal. He’s a good boy too. He just fell in with the wrong crowd for a while.
    Rachel, after I’m gone, you may