Free Dunces Anonymous by Kate Jaimet Page A

Magnolia looked around. The only way down was the fireman’s pole. She leaped onto the ice-cold pole and slid, her trench coat flapping around her legs, until she landed with a thud in the sand. She took off at a run across the schoolyard.
    Dashing through the gate that led to the street, Magnolia glanced over her shoulder and saw Emmett standing at the top of the jungle gym, waving his arms madly.
    â€œDo not flee from me, Magnolia!” he shouted after her. “I know you are my Secret Admirer!”
    Magnolia burst into the kitchen, panting. Her mother was singing along to a Céline Dion CD and stirring something on the stove. It smelled like curried chicken. At her feet, little Garland was grabbing all the plastic containers out of a drawer and flinging them across the floor.
    â€œThat Emmett Blackwell!” Magnolia exclaimed, planting her hands on her hips for dramatic effect.
    â€œWhat about him, dear?” her mother paused, wooden spoon suspended above the frying pan. “He seems like a lovely boy.”
    â€œHe wants to kiss me!”
    â€œWell, of course he does, dear. You’re his Juliet!” her mom trilled.
    â€œOh, sheesh!” Magnolia turned and stomped out of the kitchen, ignoring her mother, who was calling after her:
    â€œDo you want to talk about it, dear?”
    Not to you, Magnolia thought.
    She stomped upstairs and opened the door to her dad’s study without knocking. Inside, her dad and her two middle brothers, Randy and Robin, were standing squashed together on a bridge made of Popsicle sticks. Her dad was an engineer, and he’d been helping the boys with their science fair project.
    â€œMagnolia! Just in time!” her dad motioned her to join them on the bridge. “We need another heavy object!”
    â€œThanks a lot!” Magnolia huffed.
    â€œSweetheart, I didn’t mean…,” her dad began, but she was already out the door.
    Her family was impossible! There was nothing left to do but call Wang and Josh for an emergency meeting at her house after supper.
    â€œSo now Emmett thinks I’m his secret admirer!” Magnolia concluded, after telling the boys the story of her encounter in the schoolyard. She flung herself backward onto the sofa. Luckily, her mom and dad were too busy putting her younger brothers to bed to be curious about their meeting.
    â€œThat wasn’t supposed to happen,” said Wang.
    â€œNo kidding,” said Magnolia. “It’s going to ruin everything!”
    â€œI hate to tell you guys this,” said Josh, “but that’s not our only problem.” He drew a piece of paper from his back pocket.
    â€œSorry,” Josh continued. “I was going to tell you about this at school tomorrow, but since you’re here…” He handed the paper to Magnolia. “Stacey Hogarth just dropped this off. It’s her application letter to join the club.”
    Magnolia took the letter from Josh. It was printed on heavy cream-colored stationery with the initials SH in fancy type at the top. She unfolded it and read aloud.
    â€œDear Josh,
    I would really like to join the President’s Special Committee of Young Leaders of the Future. Here is a list of my Leadership Positions and Extracurricular Activities:
    Kindergarten: Circle Time Monitor. Head Blackboard-Eraser Cleaner.
    Grade One: Captain of the I Can Read Team. Math Olympics gold medalist.
    Grade Two: President of the Junior Careers Club.
    Grade Three…”
    â€œThe Junior Careers Club?” Wang snatched the letter away from Magnolia before she could finish reading it. “We’re doomed!”
    Magnolia snatched the letter back.
    â€œNo, we’re not. It’s simple,” she said to Josh. “You’re the president. Just tell her she’s not allowed to join.”
    â€œI can’t do that.” Josh pulled a second piece of paper from his pocket. “Stacey dropped this off