Free Karma's a Killer by Tracy Weber

myself somehow.”
    Now that she mentioned it, Rene did look awfully thin for a woman six months pregnant with twins. Her belly was growing, sure, but the rest of her body was still a highly toned size four.
    â€œNot gaining enough weight? Are you and the twins okay?”
    â€œChill out, Kate. I’m fine. I’m sure it’s all those smoothies Sam keeps forcing down my throat.” She turned to the side and pretended to gag. “I tell you, it’s not natural for humans to drink anything that green.” She took a huge bite of bagel and continued talking as she chewed. “Thank goodness I talked him into going to that conference in Tokyo. Now maybe I can eat in peace.” She licked a wad of pineapple-encrusted cream cheese off of her lower lip.
    â€œThe doctor says the girls look perfect.” She dropped the oozing concoction onto her plate and wiped her hands on a napkin. “Ooh, hang on, I’ll show you. Sam and I sprung for a 3-D ultrasound a few days ago.” She rooted around in her purse and pulled out two brown-and-black photos. “Kate, meet Twin A and Twin B.”
    I stared down at the sickeningly cute faces of my future tormentors. The one on the left clearly had Rene’s evil grin. The one on the right seemed to be rubbing her palms together, already plotting her strategy. No doubt about it, I was in trouble.
    â€œThey’re gorgeous, Rene,” I said honestly. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
    Rene wiggled happily. Her deep brunette hair bounced off her shoulders. “I know. Aren’t they adorable? I wish I knew whether or not they’re identical, so I could start planning their outfits.”
    â€œBut you already have four dozen dresses!”
    â€œI bought a few basic items, sure, but I haven’t even considered accessories.”
    I rolled my eyes.
    â€œSeriously,” she continued. “It’s more complex than you think. If the twins are identical, their outfits will be especially important. Do I dress them alike, match their hats and booties, or make them entirely unique?” She shuddered. “And the hair bands I’ve found so far have been simply atrocious.”
    â€œThey’re babies, Rene. Not runway models.”
    She looked down and softly patted her belly. “Don’t listen to her, girls. It’s never too early to start building good fashion sense.” She pointed at the coffee stain still splashed across my shirt. “You don’t want to end up being a slob like your Aunt Kate.”
    I swiped the air with an imaginary sword. “Touché.”
    Rene grinned. “Ooh—and I found the cutest Roberto Cavalli leopard-print bottle holders. They only had one color, though.” She paused and pursed her lips. “You don’t think the twins will mind if their bottles holders match, do you?”
    I groaned and covered my face with my hands.
    â€œSee? It’s complicated. It would be so much simpler if we knew whether or not the girls are identical.”
    It was easier to concede the point than keep arguing. “When will you know?”
    â€œThe doctor can’t be sure based on our sonogram. She said we might not even be sure after they’re born. In that case, we’ll have to do a DNA test.” Rene took a huge bite of cake, smearing a thick chocolate mustache across her upper lip. “I’ll tell you one thing, though. Identical or not, my sweet little parasites have both inherited my metabolism. In the first trimester they stole my beauty; now they’re snarfing up all of my food. Ever since I got over the morning sickness, all I can think about is eating.”
    So what else was new?
    She pointed to my coffee cup. “But enough about me, Ms. Mother’s Day. Let’s get back on topic. We’re here to discuss Mommy Dearest, not my food-sucking progeny. You’ve had a tough day, so I’ll forgive you this time. But admit