Free Life to Life: Ashton Ford, Psychic Detective by Don Pendleton

replied to that, "Why the hell
should I detest you? I barely know you."
    "Yes, but you knew immediately that I am
gay, and don't deny it. I saw it in your face the other night. It
was just as obvious to me, you know, that you are straight. But I
don't detest you for that."
    I didn't know why he went
for my throat that way and at that particular moment, but he'd
caught me with my buried prejudices exposed and twisting slowly in
the wind—and, yes, I was feeling just a tad defensive when I told
him, "To each his own, pal, has always been my motto. I don't ask
anybody what they do behind closed doors and furthermore I don't
give a damn what they do."
    "Yes, but you still see gayness as a sexual
perversion. Don't deny it."
    I told him, very
patiently, "I do deny it—but I resent being called upon to do so.
Actually I think that celibacy is the only perversion of the sexual
instinct. To paraphrase a popular song of some years ago, the music
goes round and round and it comes out wherever it can. So long as
it comes out, okay. Okay?"
    I guess it was not okay.
    "You miss the entire
point, Mr. Ford. Will you please look at me? Look at me! What you
see is what I am. I am not having sex with anybody right now. As
far as you know, I have never had sex and maybe I never will. So
what are you looking at? What are you seeing?"
    I tried again. "Bruce, I see a very sweet
guy who acts for all the world like a very-sweet girl. Maybe that
puts me off just a bit. But I think none the less of you."
    "Oh really?" He was giving me the
arched-eyebrow gaze. "Then why do you talk to me like I'm some kind
of idiot? Why do you patronize me?"
    I said, "How do you know I don't treat
everyone the same way?" Hell, maybe I did.
    He flexed those tremendous shoulders and
told me, "I could break you in two if I wanted to."
    I mildly warned him, "Don't try. You could
get surprised. Anyway, why would you want to? How have I hurt
you?"
    "You haven't hurt me, Mr. Ford," he replied.
"But you and I need some very serious conversation and I want to be
sure that our minds are connecting when we do. I don't want you to
think of me as an idiot and I do not want you patronizing me."
    I thought about that for several seconds
then told him, "Okay, maybe you're right. I apologize if I've come
at you that way. I would not consciously do that. So maybe there is
something down in the subconscious that—"
    "There certainly is," he
said, interrupting my apology with a solemn smile. "A moment ago
you said that I act like a very sweet girl. That tells a lot about
the way you've been conditioned to think about people like me. I am
not a girl, you see, and I would not want to be a girl. Also,
however, I am not a boy...and I would not want to be a boy. Your
understanding of these distinctions could be crucial to your
understanding of Reverend Annie's difficulties. Frankly I was very
surprised when the guides recommended you. I mean, after I found
out who you are, and all."
    I said, "Speaking of Reverend Annie..."
    He responded in that same solemn manner.
"Oh, yes, I know, you think I'm being very silly carrying on this
way at such a time. But you see I've been expecting just such a
complication. It always works that way."
    “ What do you mean? What
always works which way?”
    He rearranged his legs, smoothed his
trousers, said, "Well, that is precisely what we need to be talking
about. And I just want to be sure that you will respect what I have
to tell you."
    I assured him, "I am not
trying to amuse myself with meaningless games, Bruce. So let me
level with you first. It appears that I have been drawn into this
thing without my conscious knowledge or consent. I have been pushed
one way and pulled another to the point that I'm a bit confused as
to where the flow is even coming from."
    Janulski nodded quiet agreement, whispered,
"Yes, that's the way it works."
    "To the point that I am not sure that your
Reverend Annie is deserving of help, especially my help. I am
sensitive to unseen