Free Letting Go by Erosa Knowles Page A

the words at him, unable to fathom his choices.
    “Sometimes, but it’s not the same.”
    Tears sprung to her eyes. “You’re gay? My son… my son is gay?” she asked, the reality of the situation slipped into her broken heart.
    “I’m…I’m not gay.” His voice cracked as he wiped the tears from his face.
    She stared at him. “Who is BJ?”
    His eyes widened and then he closed them tight.
    “I’m getting tired of asking questions and you not answering them.”
    “He’s… he’s…” He rocked from side to side in his chair, something she hadn’t seen him do in a long time. His nervous gesture masked something.
    She glanced at Jessie, who’d walked into the room but remained separate from them.
    “I didn’t hear you, what’d you say?” She frowned when she realized he had spoken and she missed his whisper.
    “My friend.”
    She frowned. “Your friend?”
    “BJ is a friend.”
    “A friend?” She crossed her arms, refusing to leave or back off until satisfied.
    “Yes, Ma’am.”
    She waited for him to say more and when he didn’t she shook her head. “Robin look at me.” Her heart twisted and then slammed in her chest at the tortured look on his face. This was her baby. The boy sounded confused. He claimed to like both sexes, but her heart and mind said no. There was no way he wouldn’t answer her over some random friend. Her son liked BJ, a lot.
    “Is he your boyfriend?”
    She watched the truth flash across his face before he turned away.
    Damn it, she wanted to scream her frustration. Why my son? Had she done something wrong? Should she have remarried just so he could have a man to imitate? Her aunt would say yes. Kelly shut out the older woman’s strident voice and opinions.
    “Is he?” She ignored the tensing of his shoulders and then how he seemed to deflate before her eyes. They had a don’t-lie-to-me-policy that had been in place since he was five and received the worse whooping of his life for lying. She needed him to say it. Admit he had a boyfriend. Admit he was deceiving himself. Admit he liked the same sex. Lord, please let him deny it, her heart prayed.
    “Yes.” Shame, hurt and something else, perhaps relief, filled his voice.

Chapter 7
     
    “You’re throwing the ball much better, better than I did when I was your age,” Grant said, gulping down air as he ran toward his son. “Keep that up and you’ll go high in the college draft next year. Any idea where you wanna go?” He slapped his son on the back as they headed toward his car. Heavy clouds robbed them of the waning sunlight. The park had emptied quickly, no doubt everyone wanted to avoid the pending storm.
    Blair smiled at him. Pride filled Grant to the brim. His son looked like Priscilla, his mother; same thick dark hair, wide forehead, square jaw, sharp nose, but his wide mouth and rascally smile belonged to Grant.
    The dull persistent ache in his thigh from the accident intensified into sharp stabs of pain. He’d run too long on his bum leg. He knew better, but enjoyed the time he spent with his son. On the football field he could share his skills and knowledge to help the youngster reach his goals. Grant excelled at this sport unlike some of his academic homework.
    That made him think of Kelly, she’d been quiet since her return from the Florida Keys, giving excuse after excuse why they couldn’t get together. It still amazed him how he fell so hard and fast for her. He thought they had something solid, at least a good start. But she'd dropped him like a social disease and he didn’t know why. That didn’t stop him from thinking about her. In the quiet of the night, she consumed his thoughts, and he prayed for strength to leave her alone.
    By the time he reached the car his leg was on fire. Thirst for water and something stronger burned his throat. It had been two years since he’d drank of the grape. He was stronger than the nothingness offered in the bottle. Each day he proved that to himself and