Free The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare

to deceive, father or mother?
    FENTON     Both, my good host, to go along with me.
    And here it rests, that you’ll procure the vicar
    To stay 48 for me at church, ’twixt twelve and one,
    And, in the lawful name of marrying,
    To give our hearts united ceremony.
    HOST     Well, husband your device 51 . I’ll to the vicar.
    Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
    FENTON     So shall I evermore be bound to thee:
    Besides, I’ll make a present 54 recompense.
    Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 1
    running scene 17 continues
    Enter Falstaff [and] Mistress Quickly
    FALSTAFF     Prithee, no more prattling. Go, I’ll hold 1 . This is the
    third time. I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go.
    They say there is divinity 3 in odd numbers, either in nativity,
    chance, or death. Away.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY     I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do what I can
    to get you a pair of horns.
    FALSTAFF     Away, I say. Time wears 7 . Hold up your head, and
    mince 8 .
    [
Exit Mistress Quickly
]
    [
Enter Ford, disguised as Broom
]
    How now, Master Broom? Master Broom, the matter will be
    known tonight, or never. Be you in the park about midnight,
    at Herne’s Oak, and you shall see wonders.
    FORD     Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me
    you had appointed?
    FALSTAFF     I went to her, Master Broom, as you see, like a poor
    old man, but I came from her, Master Broom, like a poor old
    woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the finest
    mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Broom, that ever
    governed frenzy. I will tell you, he beat me grievously, in the
    shape of a woman, for in the shape of man, Master Broom, I
    fear not Goliath with a weaver’s beam 20 , because I know also
    life is a shuttle 21 . I am in haste. Go along with me, I’ll tell you
    all, Master Broom. Since I plucked geese, played truant and
    whipped top 23 , I knew not what ’twas to be beaten till lately.
    Follow me, I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on
    whom tonight I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife
    into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand 26 , Master
    Broom. Follow.
    Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 2
    running scene 18
    Enter Page, Shallow [and] Slender
    PAGE     Come, come. We’ll couch 1 i’th’castle-ditch till we
    see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my
    daughter—
    SLENDER     Ay, forsooth, I have spoke with her and we have a
    nay-word 5 how to know one another: I come to her in white,
    and cry ‘mum’, she cries ‘budget’ 6 , and by that we know one
    another.
    SHALLOW     That’s good too. But what needs either your ‘mum’
    or her ‘budget’? The white will decipher 9 her well enough. It
    hath struck ten o’clock.
    PAGE     The night is dark: light and spirits will become 11 it
    well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the
    devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let’s away.
    Follow me.
    Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 3
    running scene 18 continues
    Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford [and] Caius
    MISTRESS PAGE     Master Doctor, my daughter is in green. When
    you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the
    deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the park. We
    two must go together.
    CAIUS     I know vat I have to do. Adieu.
    MISTRESS PAGE     Fare you well, sir.
    [
Exit Caius
]
    My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff
    as he will chafe 8 at the Doctor’s marrying my daughter. But
    ’tis no matter. Better a little chiding than a great deal of
    heartbreak.
    MISTRESS FORD     Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? And
    the Welsh devil Hugh?
    MISTRESS PAGE     They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne’s
    Oak, with obscured 14 lights, which, at the very instant of
    Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will at once display to the
    night.
    MISTRESS FORD     That cannot choose but amaze 17 him.
    MISTRESS PAGE     If he be not amazed, he will be mocked. If he