Free Ms. LaGrange Is Strange! by Dan Gutman Page A

Michael.
    â€œMr. Klutz will put an ad in the paper,” Ryan said.
    â€œThat takes too long,” Michael said. “We need a lunch lady tomorrow .”

    Michael was right. If Mr. Klutz didn’t get a new lunch lady tomorrow, there would be no lunch tomorrow. And if there was no lunch tomorrow, we would starve and die. My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if people have no food, they get so hungry they’ll even eat dirt.
    â€œMaybe our moms can be lunch ladies,” Michael said.
    I don’t think that’s gonna happen. My mom doesn’t even like to cook for our family, and we have two kids, not three hundred.
    The bell rang. It was time to line up and go back to Miss Daisy’s class. Recessis way too short. We hardly had any chance to play.
    I had forgotten what happened to Emily in the vomitorium, but the girls were still talking about it when we got back to class. Emily had apple juice on her clothes, and she looked upset, like her hamster died or something.
    â€œIt was all your fault, A.J.,” said Andrea.
    â€œMy fault?” I said. “ You’re the one who knocked the apple juice over.”
    â€œYou shot a straw at my head!” Andrea said.
    â€œI did not,” I said. “I shot a straw wrapper at your head. There’s a big difference.”
    â€œWell, you’re not invited to my birthdayparty,” Andrea said.
    â€œI wouldn’t go to your stupid birthday party even if I was invited,” I said. Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her.
    Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap!
    Miss Daisy clapped her hands, which means that everybody has to stop talking.

    â€œI was going to start a unit about ancient Egypt today, but first I have some exciting news,” Miss Daisy said. “EllaMentry School has won an award. Our school has been named the cleanest school in the district! Next week a special guest is coming to present us with the award.”
    â€œOooh, who is it?” everybody asked.
    â€œIt’s Ella Mentry!”
    Ella Mentry! She’s the lady our school was named after! On the front lawn there’s a big sign that says “Ella Mentry Elementary School.” There’s a framed picture of her outside the front office, too. She looks like she’s about a hundred million years old.
    I thought Ella Mentry was dead, but Miss Daisy told us she’s not only alive,but she lives just a few blocks away.
    â€œElla Mentry was a student at this school a long time ago,” Miss Daisy said. “She went on to become a teacher here, and she taught students like you for thirty years.”

    â€œThat’s a long time to have the same teacher,” I said. Everybody laughed even though I didn’t say anything funny.
    â€œDid she teach Abraham Lincoln?” Ryan asked.
    â€œI don’t know,” said Miss Daisy, whodoesn’t know anything. “Maybe we can ask Mrs. Mentry when she comes to visit.”
    Miss Daisy went to the chalkboard and wrote, “Did you teach Abraham Lincoln?”
    â€œMaybe we can do something to honor Ella Mentry when she comes to visit,” said Andrea Young, who’s always trying to think of ways to do more work. Andrea will even ask for more homework.
    â€œThat’s a great idea!” said Miss Daisy.
    â€œHow about we honor her by taking the day off from school?” I suggested. “That’s how we honor Martin Luther King Jr.”
    â€œMrs. Mentry wouldn’t be very happy to show up and find there are no childrenhere,” Miss Daisy said. “She loves kids.”
    â€œIf she really loved kids, she would let us have the day off from school,” I said.
    Miss Smarty-pants Andrea was waving her hand in the air and moaning “Oooh…oooh…oooh” like she had to go to the bathroom.
    â€œI have an idea,” Andrea said. “We can make posters and banners and write letters to Ella Mentry.”
    I hate her. Why can’t a safe