Free Kiss Me Deadly by Mahalia Levey Page B

you say stop.”
    “You’re not getting into my pants. I’m not on jumping on the Jimmy buffet.” Sam hiccupped.
    “Buffet?” He cracked up. “Meerkat, now that’s a visual I wouldn’t have expected from you. Although, after seeing you work your hips and torso with those belly dancing moves you rocked tonight, I’m banking there is a very dirty side waiting to be set free.”
    “Where did the others go?” She yawned.
    “Your girl, Catalina, took Midian and Major home with her and I think Dominique snuck out with Vin.”
    “Sneaky bitches didn’t even say goodnight.” Sam leaned back against the couch and took a sip.
    “Why don’t you go get ready for bed? I’ll tuck you in like I used to.” Jimmy began cleaning up the mess scattered around them.
    After stumbling her way to her bedroom, she brushed her teeth in her personal bathroom and then found her favorite band T-shirt in her closet. Jimmy stood in the doorway as she undressed and slipped the shirt over her body.
    “I’m going to use your bathroom. You need anything?”
    Just you. She wanted to say but didn’t. Instead, she shook her head, fervently praying all her feminine products, bras and birth control were put away.
    While he was occupied, she took a moment to open up her nightstand and look for Miles’ letter. Every night since she’d received the letters for her and Jimmy, she’d read hers. The smooth aged paper felt good in her hands. Her last lifeline to a man who meant the world to her. She rubbed her fingers over his words and let her eyes devour the text.
     
    My dearest Sam,
    You have lived through too much grief. I never thought this would happen. Me contributing to your loss. I remember the first time I saw you scramble up the trellis into Jimmy’s room. Thick as thieves you two became, with you barely speaking English at first. Jimmy and I earned our first detention from punching that fuckhole Thomas Kincaide for picking on you because you had to take English as a second language. Early on it appeared we’d be your muscle until years later when your insane talent took you away from us. Who needs to speak when music says it all, right? Beautiful, you are an amazing beautiful woman and I am so proud of what you’ve accomplished and saddened that I won’t get to continue to watch you grow.
    I need you to do something for me. Something big that you may not know how to do, or where to start. What I need is for you to find yourself. Not who your parents wanted you to be, or your music coaches and the fans pushing you, expected you to be. You never took a break once you were thrust into the symphony, not as a kid or a young adult. I looked into you and found a lost girl, I needed to shield. My error was overprotecting you and allowing you to run to me for everything, instead of pushing you to find your own answers because there has to be a balance. You’re a smart girl. In time, I know you’ll find where you fit in outside of music and all the stressors that come with life. Find happiness wherever and with whoever brings you the greatest joy. Wake up each morning and live to the fullest.
    I have two regrets in my life. Leaving you and stealing you from my brother.
    Please forgive me for being selfish when you have always been so selfless. I always knew he was the one, but couldn’t stand by and watch your heart break as he globe trotted and didn’t realize he had everything he needed and wanted waiting for him to get a clue. In my brother’s shadow, I filled that void in your life and eased the pain of your loneliness. Honor my memory by continuing to play your sweet music. Honor my love for you by not hiding behind your smile when you’re in a world of hurt. Honor my faith by believing, and honor my brother by being his rock, let him in to be yours. My final request. Give him his letter from me when the time is right. You know him better than anyone. I can see you biting your lip and rolling your eyes. You’re right. He is