me his number?”
“What?” My fork slips through my fingers and falls to the ground with a clatter. “No!” I cough. “No way!”
“Take it easy!” she laughs, raising her eyebrows. “Why not?”
“Because … because I said so, that’s why.”
“But you’re marrying Hugo. What difference does it make to you who Ash sees?”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” I grizzle, bending down and picking up the silverware.
“Why do you care?”
“Mel!” I huff. “Can you let it go, please? I’m not gonna give you his number, end of story.”
“Fine,” she snaps. “I’ll just ask him for it next time he comes sniffing around my door for you.”
“He’s not going to be coming around anymore. I set him straight today.”
“So what’s the problem then?”
“Don’t!” I yell. “Just don’t, okay? If you want to fuck—go fuck. But don’t fuck him ‘cause I’m warning you, he’s outta bounds.”
“Oooh, outta bounds!” she laughs. “What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not like you can have him.”
“And neither can you! That’s all that means.”
She pulls a face, crossing her arms. “I used to love living with you, Laura, but lately …”
“What?” I glare into her eyes. “Lately … what?”
“Well, if you must know, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells every time I’m around you. And it sucks ‘cause it’s my house!”
“Well, you’ll be pleased to know I won’t be here much longer, anyway.”
“Huh?”
“Once the semester is over, I’m going home for Christmas, and I’m staying there, so you won’t have to put up with me any more.”
Blondie didn’t expect that. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. Just forget it, Mel. I’ve got enough going on in my life without having to worry about upsetting you as well. I never should have come back here. I should have just flown back with Hugo when I had the chance.”
“So why did you come back?”
“Because I just wanted to get to the end of the year and because I loved living with you. You’re like the sister I never had. I felt like I could tell you anything and you’d never judge me.”
“And you don’t feel that way anymore?”
I drop my plate into the sink, and it crashes loudly against the pile of other dishes. “What do you think?”
“Laura,” she takes a step towards me. “I’m sorry, okay, babe?”
I shake my head, turning on my heels. “Yeah, whatever. I’m going to bed. Have a great night.”
“Aren’t you going to finish your meal?” Mel calls after me. “You’ve hardly had anything.”
“You’re not my mom, so just shut your face and stop babying me! I’m over it.” I yell, running down the hallway and slamming my bedroom door behind me.
What have I done?
I want to scream from the rooftops that I’m in love with Ash.
I want to pick up the phone and call him.
I want to run all the way to his place and kiss his soft, beautiful lips.
I want to feel his fingertips against my skin.
I want to fall into his muscular arms and tell him that I’m in love with him too. That what I feel isn’t a crush. That deep down, I know more than anything that I’m head over heels in love with him. That I love him so much it hurts. That ever since I saw him, I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind.
I drop my hand into the bottom of my purse and feel around for my phone. If I don’t send this message now, I won’t send it at all.
Me: I love you. Okay? I do. But I can’t be with you. I want to be with you more than you could ever comprehend. But life isn’t that simple, Ash. Nothing is.
I lean my back against the wall, waiting for his reply for what feels like hours. But I never hear back. I’d like to think that his battery was dead or my message didn’t go through or maybe that he changed his number, but I know I’m