Free Silent Warrior: A Loveswept Classic Romance by Donna Kauffman

difficult enough. You don’t need me to—”
    “What do you know about my needs, John McShane?”
    “I was out of line—”
    “Was I the one pushing you away?” She was almost nose to nose with him. “And since when has crossing the line bothered you? It sure as hell didn’t stop you from bullying me ten years ago.”
    “I know. That’s why I left.”
    His quiet words instantly deflated her. “What?”
    “Pushing past the line is what I do, Cali. But, with you, my actions weren’t always motivated by your best interest. I told myself I was just doing what wasnecessary to get you on your feet the only way I knew how.”
    “And you did. I hated you for it at the time, but you did.” She lifted her hand.
    He braced himself for her touch, not at all sure he could handle direct contact at that moment and still control his reaction.
    He didn’t think he’d moved so much as a hair, but she must have sensed his withdrawal. She let her hand drop back to her side. He thought he detected the slightest hint of hurt in her eyes. Remembering how he’d felt when she’d pulled away, he identified strongly with her feeling.
    “I wasn’t just doing it for your own good,” he said. “I was saving myself as well.”
    “You were hurting too. I understand.”
    She understood nothing. He knew he should let it go, let her misunderstand, wade on out of this emotional pool and get back to the real business at hand.
    But this is the real business, isn’t it?
his inner voice said. Getting Cali in your life again, once and for all exploring the possibilities.
    He thought about the assignment he’d left to come there, the people who were counting on him. He mentally recited the bottom-line rule for any Dirty Dozen member and the only one he never broke.
No attachments of any kind
. Ignoring that rule had robbed the team of several members, including their former leader.
    Commitment to anyone created a vulnerability that could be exploited. It wouldn’t happen to him.He’d dedicated himself to the Dirty Dozen ten years before. With Del gone and most of the team disbanded, they needed him now more than ever.
    So did Cali, his little voice offered. Ultimately, he was expendable to the team—but
not to her
.
    Which was precisely why he was there. The very idea of her needing him more than anyone else in the world was enough to keep him from walking away.
    Saving her now, as he had a decade earlier, was all he could do for her. A rescuer was the only role he could play. Yes, they were both adults. He wasn’t blind, he knew Cali was interested. He could push that line, have at least part of what he wanted so badly. He could tell himself that anything they shared was better than nothing.
    He looked at her. His body remained hard, but his heart was getting softer by the second. He knew then that there would be no pushing any boundaries, no breaking of rules, because only one of them would be able to walk away unscathed.
    And it wouldn’t be him.

FIVE
    Cali’s emotions were a jumble of contradictions. She was feeling things for John she’d never expected to feel, and it was not the time to explore them. He was apparently grappling with some disconcerting feelings himself.
    “We’d, uh, better get into town. It’s getting late and most of the shops close up tight by five.”
    He was silent for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”
    She was beginning to read him better. He was relieved she was letting what happened—or almost happened—drop. You’d never know by looking at him, far from it. But he’d given in.
    It made her feel good to be able to understand him, as if she were a member of an exclusive club. Was there anyone in his life who had full access to the inner workings of his mind? To his thoughts andemotions? Had he ever given someone access to his heart? To his soul?
    She walked faster down the gravel path, freely admitting to herself that she was running away both literally and