Free Not to Disturb by Muriel Spark Page A

nothing to hide. We’re
innocent.’
    â€˜Well, we are crimeless,’ Lister says. ‘To continue with
the plans. Heloise, you are pregnant.’
    The house-telephone rings. Eleanor lifts it up and bends
an ear to its bronchial story. Heloise laughs.
    â€˜All right, let them come inside the gates. But don’t let
them out again,’ Eleanor says, and puts down the phone. She says to Lister,
‘That’s Victor Passerat’s two friends. They are threatening to call the police
if we won’t produce Passerat.’
    â€˜Here they come,’ says Hadrian, at the window, and
presently a car bumps up the drive. Presently again, a banging at the back
door.
    â€˜Let them in,’ says Lister. ‘Bring them in here.’
    â€˜That’s right,’ says Clovis. ‘Better straighten things
out.’
    Mr Samuel goes out to the back door and returns followed
by Anne the masseuse and her friend, Alex. They stand staring at the assembled
household. They look from Eleanor to the dozing Reverend, they look at laughing
Heloise, at Pablo and at long-legged Irene and Lister.
    â€˜I understand you want to use the telephone,’ Lister
says. He waves towards the pantry office. ‘Well there it is.’
    â€˜We want Victor,’ says Anne.
    â€˜He is in the library with the Baron and the Baroness.
They’re not to be disturbed. Strict orders.’
    â€˜I feel afraid for Victor,’ says Alex.
    â€˜Why not ring the police as you’ve suggested?’ says
Lister waving again towards the pantry office. ‘The telephone’s in there. We are
having a busy night waiting up for the Baron and the Baroness.’
    â€˜I’d rather keep the police out of it,’ Anne says.
    â€˜Yes, I dare say. What sort of reward are you hoping for,
large or small?’
    â€˜Victor’s our friend. We know Cathy Klopstock, too,’ says
Anne.
    Heloise says, ‘Why don’t you call the police and tell
them you’ve got those tape-recordings and films ready in your car, so that
Victor and the Baroness can do a deal with the Baron, and then clear out? —
Threats of exposure.’
    Eleanor says, ‘Don’t be crude and literal, Heloise. This
has been a tiring night. I wish you had bought some decent carrots for my
juice.’
    â€˜You have to be frank with these types,’ Heloise
says.
    â€˜They don’t connect,’ says Pablo.
    â€˜Come on, let’s go,’ says Anne to Alex, whose eyes brim
with tears.
    They follow Mr Samuel to the back door and leave the
house.
    â€˜Heloise,’ says Lister, ‘as I was saying, you’re
pregnant.’
    Mr Samuel comes back into the room as Heloise gives out
her laughter.
    Mr Samuel says, ‘They’ve locked the doors of the car.
Evidently they’re going on a trip round the grounds.’
    Mr McGuire goes to the window in the dark pantry office.
‘They’ve gone round to the front of the house,’ he says.
    â€˜Let them prowl,’ says Lister. ‘About your condition,
Heloise. There’s a solution to your problem.’
    â€˜It’s no problem,’ says Heloise.
    â€˜You marry the Baron,’ says Lister, ‘and become the
Baroness.’
    Pablo says, ‘He’s gone to meet his Maker. He shoots the
wife and secretary when they talk too fast. Then he shoots himself, according to
the script. He sorts out the mix-up the only way he knows.’
    â€˜Eleanor has found some new evidence,’ Lister says. ‘It
was quite unforeseen, but one foresees the unforeseen. He in the attic is the
Baron’s younger brother. Heir to the title, and under the terms of the Trust,
most of the fortune.’
    â€˜I thought he was related to her, not him,’ says
Hadrian.
    â€˜He’s a nephew or something, isn’t he?’ Clovis says. ‘If
not, I have to amend the script.’
    â€˜A younger brother of the Baron.’
    â€˜He turns my