Free Pegasus: A Novel by Danielle Steel

in his
     eyes, and she could sense this was not a happy trip for him. He was putting a good
     face on it, and he was every inch a gentleman, but there was something sad and remote
     about him, as though he had lost someone he dearly loved. In fact he had lost a country
     that day, and said goodbye to his father and best friend. She assumed he had lost
     a woman, but he had given up a great deal more. He had abandoned an entire life.
    “Thank you for the compliment,” she said, flirting with him. “Perhaps we can do it
     again tomorrow. I think tomorrow is the casino night, and the day after that the masked
     ball.” There were special entertainments planned every night, and she had brought
     a different gown for each occasion. From what Nick had seen that night, her wardrobe
     and her figure were exquisite. For the right man, she would be a glorious catch, but
     not for him. Not anymore. He had thegood manners and good sense, in his current circumstances, not to get involved. He
     felt as though that part of his life were over now too. He had nothing to offer anyone,
     surely not stability, or even a pleasant way of life. All of that was gone. He resisted
     the urge to be melancholy, but he was still reverberating from everything that had
     happened. And to some degree, he was still in shock, and she could see it.
    “I’d be very happy to escort you to the casino,” Nick said pleasantly, although he
     had no intention of gambling with the little he had. His father had paid their first-class
     passage, and he needed the money they had brought with them, to take care of his sons.
     Overnight, he had become responsible, despite his carefree, self-indulgent ways of
     the past. Those days were over. He had grown up instantly. And a random night of shipboard
     gambling, give or take even a few hundred reichsmark, was no longer possible for him.
     For her, he could tell it would be small change. The difference in their circumstances
     now made even a casual flirtation with her seem dishonest. He was no longer of her
     world. He had become an outcast in his country, and what had previously been his life.
     Nothing of all that was visible to her. But he knew the difference, between what he
     had once been, only days ago, and what he was now. And in another week, he would be
     nothing more than a performer in the circus. It was horrifying to think about and
     still impossible to absorb.
    “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said with a seductive glance as she disappeared
     into her cabin, and Nick walked slowly back to his own, feeling pensive. He didn’t
     really want her, but if he had, she would have been untouchable for him now. Their
     lives were miles apart.
    Before he went back to his stateroom, he checked on the boys. Both were sound asleep,
     and he gently covered Lucas with his blanket,as he clutched the teddy bear he had brought with him, that he had slept with all
     his life. And he was wearing pale blue pajamas. Toby was sleeping, too, with the peaceful
     face of the boy he still was. And then Nick went back to his own room, sat down quietly
     in a comfortable chair, and lit a cigar. He had much to think about these days. He
     poured himself a cognac from the decanter in his room, and sat in the dark, in the
     moonlight, watching the smoke from his cigar, and the brightly lit end, wondering
     what the future had in store.

Chapter 5
    The casino night with Monique was as pleasant as the night before. They danced after
     the gambling, and it was a lively evening Nick enjoyed. He had always liked gambling,
     within reason, but he only played roulette twice that night, for modest amounts, and
     lost. Monique won five hundred reichsmark, and he didn’t play again. He was being
     cautious.
    Both boys were enjoying the ship, the weather was fine, and the horses were doing
     well. And on the night of the masked ball, halfway through the trip and far from land,
     they hit a November storm. And the ship began