Free House On Windridge by Tracie Peterson Page A
Authors: Tracie Peterson
Devonâs attention.
She couldnât provide Ryan with a father. Certainly not a father like Devon. Was it fair or right to allow the boy to grow close to Devon, when the man could pick up and go at any given moment? Kate said Devon would never do such a thing, but what if he grew tired of the failing ranch? What if he left them like so many of the other ranch hands had already done?
âOh, Father, what am I to do? How do I show this man charity instead of fear?â Then a thought came to mind, causing Jessica to feel even more at a loss. Devon seemed perfectly willing to answer her questions, to take time out of his schedule to work with her on mattersâat least those times when she had allowed herself to ask and seek his help. But the relaxed nature of Devonâhis considerate and generous spiritâmade Jessica uncomfortable. Devon clearly represented the kind of man she would have chosen for herself had others not interfered with her life.
âIf Harriet hadnât thrust me into her social circles, demanding I choose a husband from the men of leisure who haunted her doorstep, I might have known true happiness. I might even have come here and met Devon Carter long before joining my life to Newman; then Ryan would be his son, and I would be his wife.â
The thought so startled Jessica that she slammed the Bible shut. I canât allow myself to think that way , she scolded. There is nothing to be gained by it. I canât take back the past. I canât bring my dead mother and father to life and start over under their care instead of Aunt Harrietâs. I canât remake my life.
The light went out in the cottage, leaving Jessica to feel even more deserted. Somehow, knowing that Devon was awake made her feel less alone. As if taking this as her own cue to go to bed, Jessica made one more check on Ryan, then turned down the lamp and crawled into the massive bed. Scooting into the very middle, Jessica could extend both arms and never touch the sides of the bed. How empty it seemed. How empty her entire life seemed.
Iâll try to do better, Lord, she prayed the promise. I will humble myself and go to Devon and apologize for my attitude and actions. I will even be honest with him about the reasons. But please, just go before me and help me to say the right thing. Donât let me make a fool out of myselfâagain.
â§
The next morning dawned with a promise of spring. The air felt warm on Jessicaâs face as she made her way out to what Kate called the garden house. The ground gave off a rich, earthy smell that made Jessica want to plant something. Maybe sheâd talk to Kate about restoring the flower garden that used to grow along this walk. Kate had spoken of the prairie flowers and the delicate splotches of color that graced the hills when springtime was upon them in full. Kate said it had been Naomiâs favorite time of year.
Standing just outside the cottage, Jessica gave a brief prayer for courage. She wanted to speak to Devon before breakfast in hopes that he might join them and ease the tension that had engulfed the house since Jessicaâs last outburst. She also intended to follow through with her promise to God and humble herself before this handsome stranger.
Knocking lightly, Jessica tried to plan what sheâd say. She had continued to wrestle with her conscience long into the night, but somewhere around two in the morning, sheâd finally let go of her fears and given them over to God. It wouldnât be easy to face her mismatched emotions, but somehow she knew God would give her the grace to handle things day by day.
Devon opened the door, stared at her blankly for a moment, then smiled. âAnd to what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the boss lady?â
Jessica swallowed hard and tried to think of each word before speaking. âIâve come here to apologize.â
Devon crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
She couldnât provide Ryan with a father. Certainly not a father like Devon. Was it fair or right to allow the boy to grow close to Devon, when the man could pick up and go at any given moment? Kate said Devon would never do such a thing, but what if he grew tired of the failing ranch? What if he left them like so many of the other ranch hands had already done?
âOh, Father, what am I to do? How do I show this man charity instead of fear?â Then a thought came to mind, causing Jessica to feel even more at a loss. Devon seemed perfectly willing to answer her questions, to take time out of his schedule to work with her on mattersâat least those times when she had allowed herself to ask and seek his help. But the relaxed nature of Devonâhis considerate and generous spiritâmade Jessica uncomfortable. Devon clearly represented the kind of man she would have chosen for herself had others not interfered with her life.
âIf Harriet hadnât thrust me into her social circles, demanding I choose a husband from the men of leisure who haunted her doorstep, I might have known true happiness. I might even have come here and met Devon Carter long before joining my life to Newman; then Ryan would be his son, and I would be his wife.â
The thought so startled Jessica that she slammed the Bible shut. I canât allow myself to think that way , she scolded. There is nothing to be gained by it. I canât take back the past. I canât bring my dead mother and father to life and start over under their care instead of Aunt Harrietâs. I canât remake my life.
The light went out in the cottage, leaving Jessica to feel even more deserted. Somehow, knowing that Devon was awake made her feel less alone. As if taking this as her own cue to go to bed, Jessica made one more check on Ryan, then turned down the lamp and crawled into the massive bed. Scooting into the very middle, Jessica could extend both arms and never touch the sides of the bed. How empty it seemed. How empty her entire life seemed.
Iâll try to do better, Lord, she prayed the promise. I will humble myself and go to Devon and apologize for my attitude and actions. I will even be honest with him about the reasons. But please, just go before me and help me to say the right thing. Donât let me make a fool out of myselfâagain.
â§
The next morning dawned with a promise of spring. The air felt warm on Jessicaâs face as she made her way out to what Kate called the garden house. The ground gave off a rich, earthy smell that made Jessica want to plant something. Maybe sheâd talk to Kate about restoring the flower garden that used to grow along this walk. Kate had spoken of the prairie flowers and the delicate splotches of color that graced the hills when springtime was upon them in full. Kate said it had been Naomiâs favorite time of year.
Standing just outside the cottage, Jessica gave a brief prayer for courage. She wanted to speak to Devon before breakfast in hopes that he might join them and ease the tension that had engulfed the house since Jessicaâs last outburst. She also intended to follow through with her promise to God and humble herself before this handsome stranger.
Knocking lightly, Jessica tried to plan what sheâd say. She had continued to wrestle with her conscience long into the night, but somewhere around two in the morning, sheâd finally let go of her fears and given them over to God. It wouldnât be easy to face her mismatched emotions, but somehow she knew God would give her the grace to handle things day by day.
Devon opened the door, stared at her blankly for a moment, then smiled. âAnd to what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the boss lady?â
Jessica swallowed hard and tried to think of each word before speaking. âIâve come here to apologize.â
Devon crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.