Free Civilized Love by Diane Collier

I t was July 14 th and just about three weeks had passed since the Civil War ended. Now battered and torn, Pvt. William Jacobs rode his faithful steed back to a land he once knew very well—as home. Now, he would return as a stranger.
    The bloodbath of Gettysburg would forever remain in his memory bank and forever mark the significance of hatred and bloodshed in our history books. The blood of his slain brother would be an image that would haunt him until the end of time. The blood of an adversary; he’d always loved. John was his brother, two years older than he and they’d always been close. John, however, was like minded with his father.
    “We bought our slaves fairly! We paid full price for them. We aren’t bad owners…” that was their mindset. William, however, never agreed. He saw the ‘slaves’ as humans. His father chastised him often for his ‘ignorance’. From the time William was a child he would often play with the young black children when given the chance. He had to play in secret, but thoroughly enjoyed the company of three children. Sam, Donavan, and their little sister. Riding back, he wondered how they fared in this battle. He also tried to remember the girl’s name, but simply couldn’t bring the name to memory. She was tiny and sweet. Pretty as a picture—he recalled. She’d be a woman now…he figured. Maybe she made it through to be free and free to marry someone who would treat her well.
    One time William was caught playing with the ‘black children’ and his father tanned his hide but good. “No son of mine is going to play with the slaves! You will not disgrace me like this again… you understand boy!?”
    Despite the many moments of ‘lecture’, William could simply not believe in owning another human being. Even though the common mindset placed the slave below a human’s status, William knew in his heart it was different.
    His mother, Caroline, didn’t say one way or another, what she believed. She was the wife and had to know her place. It was Caroline’s sister Margaret who felt differently and often said so to those who’d listened. Most folks just referred to her as the mindless spinster. Fact of the matter was, she was the only woman willing to speak. That didn’t sit well with most men. Yet, William liked that about her. He’d often sit with her and talk; listening the ramblings of the town’s loon. Caroline barely spoke to Margo, because she could not condone her meddling ways.
    Then, when war was declared and folks were called into battle, William took a stand for the north; walking away from his family’s beliefs for that which was right.
    As the horse cantered through the entrance of Georgia, jarring the pain that still wracked his shoulder; his mind began to melt over the memory of the bloodiest battle he hoped to ever see. ‘Enough blood for a lifetime or two, he thought.’ He’d been shot and left for dead, piled among the bloody carcasses of his friends and allies. The river beneath him ran red as the smell of rot and gun powder competed with the summer’s willowing breeze.
    The final picture replayed in his mind, slow motion, sounds muffled to the memory, as the battle unfolded. If he thought hard enough, he could still hear the big bangs of the cannons as the rumbled like thunder through the valley.
    They’d charge into battle, both sides in the battle of all battles. There in the midst of ‘the Battle of Gettysburg’, in Adams County, PA. North and South were to head off in a bloody battle that took the lives of more than 7,000 men. As the dust settled and William was able to find his footing once again, he began to pull himself back to his people. The few who were left. Thought to have been killed along with the rest, they’d almost left him entirely. As he came into view of his comrades, something caught his eye.
    He’d walked over one corpse after another. He tried not to look. He tried not to let it sink in. He didn’t want to think about