Free Long Slow Second Look by Marilyn Lee

disbelief in his voice, I turned from my brother Shane's balcony to give him a cool look. Why the hell had I come? I wasn't in the mood to play nice with his other guests and I was already regretting the impulse that had led me to tell him about Amber and how I'd fucked up with her.
    Growing up we had butted heads because he'd always resented any advice I offered as the older brother. He would often remind me that my two-year age advantage didn't make me an authority on anything and I should shut the fuck up and mind my own damned business. After Jonny was born, we started spending more time together and got to know each other as men and not just brothers. Once we did our relationship progressed to the point where I considered him a close friend.
    "No. I'm not."
    "Then what the hell was up with raw sex-twice? That's some shit I'd expect from Jonny. Not you."
    I looked down at my empty beer can and crushed it in my hand. "I lost my head."
    "No shit? What is it about her that made you lose your damned mind?"
    "She intrigued me."
    "What's so damned intriguing about a full-figured plain woman that would make you behave like a damned horny teenager in love?"
    I shook my head and dismissed the urge to toss the crumpled beer can at him. "She's not pretty per se but she is not plain. She's easy to talk to and she makes me laugh. She's…she has a confidence I find sexy and she has beautiful eyes, sweet lips and–"
    "And apparently pussy so good you had to double-tap it raw."
    "What's your damned point, Shane? I already admitted I fucked up."
    "My point is that clearly you're understating your interest in her."
    "How the hell did you arrive at that conclusion?"
    "When was the last time we discussed one of your easy lays?"
    I tossed the beer can into the corner of the balcony in lieu of decking him. "She's not an easy lay!"
    Shane nodded. "Exactly. Face that fact, deal with it, and tell me when I can expect to meet her?"
    I shook my head. "Meet her? Why the hell would you expect to meet her? The last time I checked we don't introduce our easy lays to each other."
    "Too true, but as you just angrily pointed out, she's not an easy lay. Of course, now that you busted your nut in her a couple of times, the thrill is probably gone for you."
    "What?"
    "Let's face it, Johnny, women who give it up too quickly and too easily can never expect to hold a man's interest. I think we can both agree she did both."
    I stared at him.
    He glanced at my side where I'd clenched my right hand into a fist and shook his head. "Don't blame me for stating the obvious."
    "You don't know a damn thing about her so watch what the hell you say about her."
    He held up a hand and took a step back. "Just testing the temperature of your emotions. Guess what, Johnny? They're boiling. If I had to hazard a guess I'd say you'd finally met her."
    "Met who?"
    "Your sheenea, of course."
    Sheenea was a word we'd first heard years ago when we became friends with Brandon and his family. The Grayhawks used sheenea as a special endearment for the one woman they considered completed them and with whom they expected to share their lives with exclusively.
    Though Raleigh and Gabriel had been convinced to embrace the concept of having one woman who met all their needs and thus completed them, Shane and I had not. After years of searching and a succession of meaningless relationships, I knew no one woman was capable of meeting all my needs. And after two failed marriages, I'd thought Shane shared my belief.
    "You've been hanging around the Grayhawks too long," I said.
    "Have I? If not sheenea than she's your cher."
    I'd grown up hearing the love and affection in my grandfather's voice when he called my grandmother cher. I'd never heard him use the endearment with anyone else. It was a term of endearment we'd been taught never to use lightly. I'd never called a woman cher—not even Julie.
    "I've never used the word," I said.
    "No? Well maybe you should."
    "What?"
    He nodded his head