Free Sugar & Squall by J. Round Page B

paced on the spot. “The DNB was just something stupid I came up with. No one was supposed to see it. Now the whole damn school knows.” The words echoed even louder in irony.
    Logan caught me by the shoulders and spun me around to face him. He made no effort to let go. He held firm. Something inside me stopped at that moment. Time hung and all I could do was stand there in a stupor.
    Finally, he released his hands. “It’s not stupid. In fact, I think it’s perfect. You don’t think we need a break? Besides, no one’s going to see us, especially with the storm outside.”
    I looked at the pool and r ealization came crashing in like a tidal wave. “Oh, no, no, you’re not seriously asking me to–”
    “Yes, yes I am,” he said, puffing himself up to full height and lifting his head. “Let’s go skinny-dipping, right here, right now.”
    I stepped back and threw my arms around, eyes wide and incredulous. “Are – you – insane. We’re stuck here, probably as the rest of school is getting their brains sucked out by some alien race, and you want to go skinny-dipping. What if someone came back, or found us?”
    “What if they did?” He was walking around me, questioning. “What’s the worst that could happen? We get detention for a month, a year. And nothing’s going to be out there in weather like this. It beats walking around in circles.”
    I was wary and looked him straight in the eyes. “You just want to see me with my clothes off.”
    He put his hand to his heart and stood at salute. “I swear I won’t look, not even a tiny bit, and I’ll go all the way with you.”
    I raised an eyebrow.
    “You know what I mean.”
    “Sure do.”
    The rain shifted up a notch, hammering against the windows in a percussive slurry.
    Logan moved closer. “I know how it seems, but I just want to help you out. Imagine crossing that stuff off. How good would that feel, to be wild and spontaneous for once, to just let it all go, all hang out?”
    Another raised eyebrow.
    “Not the best analogy, but you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t do anything just completely reckless, out of control ever again, do this one thing. I won’t tell a single soul.”
    It still sounded ludicrous in the circumstance, but I had to admit Logan had a strange effect of me. He was fire, and try as I might, I just couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and being burnt.
    When was the last time I’d completely let go? I was always so paranoid, so careful not to lash out lest I flare up and knock out someone’s teeth. Socially, my life constantly hung in the balance, a continual tug-of-war between fending off fuckwits and trying to make do with anyone stupid enough to befriend me.
    A day or two ago I’d felt the release, the feeling of something fresh and unopened, running off into the night like that. True, I’d been bitch-slapped by my supposed BFFs on the beach, but they’d disappeared with everyone else. Now I was here, alone, with Logan. That said something in itself. Why couldn’t I just do it? Why did I have to shield myself away, shave away any kind of spontaneity in my life? I deserved a little time out.
    I pushed the disappearance aside. I felt oddly detached from myself, which worked. I was not myself, after all. I was Kat, and Kat could do whatever she wanted.
    “Fine,” I agreed, “on my terms.” I couldn’t even believe what I was saying it was so out of character.
    “Sorry?” Logan wasn’t expecting it either.
    “I’ll do it.”
    “You’ll do it.”
    “Yep.”
    “Okay, let’s go then.”
    “Let’s.”
    “You’re sure you want to do this?” He didn’t sound so sure himself.
    Did I? I honestly couldn’t say. My toes tingled. My whole body felt tight and tense. I thought back to the diary. I thought of how I had come up with that first line, probably watching some C-grade chick flick.
    It was a chance to let go, total freedom. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? Who cares if everyone was