looking at it. It’s just some things in life are so close to us that
we can touch them, but we can’t have them. As much as we want to, it just won’t
ever happen.” He spread out his legs across the grass, leaving the strands
sticking to the ground.
“What
do you want that you can’t have?” She asked quizzically.
“You.”
He looked away from her.
“You
can’t have me?” She questioned him confused. “You already have me. We’re
together. You know that.”
“I
don’t have you. I don’t own you. You could leave me any day, any hour, any
minute.”
“But
I won’t. You know that. We’re perfect for each other.” She reassured him.
“I
know you won’t, but I could leave you.” He scooted away from her, dazed in his
own troubled thoughts.
“Why
would you do that? I thought everything was going well?” She said with concern.
“I
wouldn’t leave you by choice.” He answered slowly.
“Then
why would you leave?” She moved closer towards him in an effort to regain the
closeness that she could feel slowly fading away. “Why are you saying all of
this? I just don’t understand what I did.”
“You
didn’t do anything. It’s just life. We don’t know when the end is near. It
could be today, tomorrow, it’s unknown.” He dipped his feet in the river,
feeling the rush of the water through his toes.
“Stop,
don’t talk about stuff like that. You’re scaring me. I don’t want to think
about living without you. I wouldn’t know what to do.” She cried as she
attempted moving his feet from the water.
“Don’t
you ever think about dying? You do realized that you’re not going to live
forever right?” He forced his feet back into the water and waded his toes gracefully
through the rushing current.
“Well
yeah, but I don’t want to think about it right now, not while we are here
together having a good time. Can’t we talk about something else? This is making
me depressed.” She slid her finger quickly under her eye to remove a silent
tear.
“I
don’t want you to miss me too much when I’m gone. I want you to go on and live
your life. I don’t want to hold you back from chasing your dreams. I hope that
you will find someone else. It can’t just be any guy either. He has to treat
you right. The way that I would have.” He kissed her forehead passionately and
wiped away her tears.
“I
don’t want you to go.” She sobbed through her tears pulling away from him.
“I
don’t want to go either. I wanted to spend my life with you, but life had other
plans. I know you will be okay without me. I need you to face all your fears
and go on to live out all of your dreams. I will always be with you, even if I
am not physically here. I will always be in your heart. When the pain is too
much to bear and you are missing me, look there to find me. You won’t be
disappointed, I’ll always be there for you. I love you.” He stood up while
holding both of her hands. “I have to go now.”
“Where
are you going? Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!” She cried holding on to
his hands tighter and tighter.
“I
have to, just remember what I told you. I love you. Be strong.”
And
just like that he was gone.
“Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep!”
“Oh
it was just a dream!” Cathy murmured to herself as she pulled the covers over
her head, the light was shining through her window showing the red through her
eyelids. She moved her arm from her body and slammed her hand down on the
snooze button. She