Free Beds and Blazes by Bebe Balocca

out, a course. We swallows them right up!”
    “Ugh, Mephita, that’s quite enough.” Carmen winced. She ducked her head under the surface of the tub and sat back up, hot water streaming off her short blonde locks. “You were saying, Lowell, that by offering Prescott Manor up to Dora, you were presenting her with a solution?”
    “Aye,” Lowell grumbled.
    “A solution to what, if I might ask?”
    Lowell’s mouth opened, then snapped shut as he considered.
    “Dora doesn’t have a problem,” Carmen went on. “She lives in the home she loves and she has a boyfriend she enjoys.” Brock chuckled and Carmen jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. “Maybe you have a problem, Lowell, but why would Dora know anything about that?”
    “Well, I can’t tell her about our secrets unless she’s willing to move to the woods,” Lowell protested weakly, “and I can’t very well move in with her since she lives away from the Healing Waters and Living Earth.” Water dripped from his beard onto the surface of the bubbling natural hot tub. “My hands are tied.”
    “She lives not so far, truly. Worth it to go see her, keep her happy, hmm?” a hitherto silent male voice from the far end of the tub offered.
    “Ah, just Bufo,” Mephita snorted. “That one knows nary and nothing about lovey romantical stuff, just dirt and worms and weeds.”
    “I’m a cooker, I am!” he retorted indignantly. “Learning to, anyhow.”
    “You’re a mess-maker, from tell I hear.” A third gnome slipped off her tunic and stepped into the water. “Best stay to diggering and flower stuffs, you.” A drip fell from one of her wide nostrils into the bubbling pool. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of one hand.
    “Uh, hi there, Limax,” Carmen said with a queasy smile. “Brock, I think I’m going to head back to my cottage. Care to join me?” She climbed from the water and headed for the stone chamber designated as the females’ changing room.
    A bubble surfaced behind Mephita’s back and all three gnomes laughed uproariously. “Right behind you!” Brock shouted as he bounded from the tub.
    Lowell glared at the three sniggering beings as he rose with as much dignity as he could muster.
    “Gnomes,” he grumbled under his breath.
    He stood by the edge of the pool as water streamed from his naked form. “And you, Bufo,” he directed at the male occupant of the tub. “No more slacking off with the Prescott gardens! Do your job, you hear?”
    Bufo’s eyes fell to the rippling water before him and he nodded quickly.
    Scowling, the oldest Rossi son wrapped his kilt around his hips and stalked from the cavern.
    * * * *
    Lowell grabbed his wrapped parcel and whistled for Dax. Options, each both tempting and utterly unacceptable, teased him as he trudged through the trees. He could tell Dora everything about Prescott Woods so she’d willingly come with him. He could throw her over his shoulder like a caveman and toss her into the Healing Waters and be done with it. Or he could carry on visiting her at Bohemian Rhapsody and endure the antics of the malicious imp that was plaguing the place. Lastly, he could stop seeing her entirely and pay a visit to the dryads in the woods. They’d be glad to help him lick his wounds.
    He chuckled, remembering a particularly pleasant woodsy encounter with a couple of trees. Geneva and Hazel were lithe and playful, and free from those aggravating notions that Dora entertained. What foolishness—playing housemaid and cook to complete strangers in a creaking old house, when she could move into an elf-built and gnome-maintained manor?
    A flash of lavender caught his eye. “Flowers,” he humphed. “She’d like that.” He harvested two dozen of the pale purple globes. Then he continued through the trees to Bohemian Rhapsody with a vague plan of presenting her with an impressive bouquet and a gift, then sweeping her off her feet.
    * * * *
    Dora opened the door at his knock but stood, blocking