Free Forced Partnership by Robert T. Jeschonek Page A

left arm and broke his right leg in two places.
    The other guy took a beating, too, but then he sneaked in a lucky shot with a cinderblock while Partycrasher was breaking his buddy's leg. Kerash! The block smashed against Partycrasher's head. The blow might have killed a less super-powered person, but it did leave him dazed, I could tell.
    And that was my cue.
    Springing off the trash pile, I reached into my pocket for the tube of ultra-potent deep-heating rub (my own personal formula). Bolting toward the goon as he raised the cinder block for another strike at Partycrasher, I squirted the rub right in his eyes. Wailing, he dropped the block and stumbled across the alley.
    That gave Partycrasher all the time he needed to fully recover. Shaking off the effects of the block, he hurtled past me and took down the goon with style, pummeling him with a dozen blows to the upper body.
    The goon teetered, then collapsed on the pavement.
    Partycrasher turned to me. "Nice work."
    I shrugged. "Any time."
    Then, he cocked his head to one side, looking deep in thought. He stepped toward me and planted his hands on his hips. "Have you considered working with somebody? As a backup, say?"
    I shook my head. My heart was pounding in my chest.
    He reached out a black leather-gloved hand. "Well, would you? Consider it, I mean? I've been thinking about partnering up, and clearly, you can handle yourself in a fight."
    I smiled. "Sure, I'll consider it." Then, on the spot, I made up my mind. "Actually, my answer is..."

    *****
    Â 
    WHO--OR WHAT--IS BRAINTEAZER?
    "Y-you're not just my p-partner." My speech slurs as Partycrasher's unrelenting blows pound my face to pulp. "You're my b-best friend!"
    Partycrasher hauls me up by the front of my costume and snarls the words in my face. "I'm not your partner , and I've never been your friend !" He looks mad enough to bite my nose off, I swear to God.
    Tears trickle down the ragged maze of my cracked and lumpy cheeks. "It's Brainteazer, isn't it? Or Non Compos Mentis? One of them g-got inside your h-head, didn't they?"
    "You delusional idiot !" He shakes me like a rag doll--a rag doll he hates with every fiber of his being. "For the last time! There. Is. No. Mind control ."
    I wince at him with all the deep and tragic affection welling up in my heart. "They're m-making you say that, I know..."
    He shakes me again. "Brainteazer isn't even in the super-villain game anymore! He's in Silicon Valley working on mind-machine interface systems!"
    "Th-that's what he wants you to think."
    "And Non Compos Mentis died from a drug overdose!"
    "They've totally t-taken you over...haven't they?" I shake my head slowly. "They've stolen...my p-partner...the g-greatest crimefighter this city has ever...the world has ever..."
    " I'm not your partner! " He screams the words so loud it hurts. " All you've ever been is a deluded wannabe who I should've killed long... "

    *****
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    INTRODUCING THE ONE AND ONLY RAVE SIGNAL!
    When did Partycrasher give me the fabulous Rave Signal? I'm glad you asked.
    I was in the hospital, right? This was six months after Partycrasher and I joined forces. By then, we were both wearing the same costume and going by the same code name--all the better to confuse the underworld element, he always said.
    Anyway, I was laid up after a solo battle with Ballbuster and the Let 'Em Eat Cake Gang. Imagine a band of seven goons all dressed like Marie Antoinette, but with weaponized hairpins and flying guillotines. As for Ballbuster, she was the ultimate butch lesbian with a fetish for striking below the belt.
    I was left in a full body cast, more or less, confined to my hospital bed. My first night there, I heard a knock at the door, and it was Partycrasher. He swirled into the darkened room like a cloud of smoke.
    "Hey there, chum." He brought in a bouquet of flowers and put it on the nightstand. "I'm so sorry about all this."
    "There's nothing to be sorry about." I smiled and shrugged. "Comes with the