Free Selby Screams by Duncan Ball Page B

“But I don’t like beating people up any more — not even my own brother. I want to stop. I’ve been hit so much already that my head’s going wonky. One more punch and I’ll start hearing voices, for sure. Oh, please, please, please,” he added, getting down on his knees.
    “Poor Knuckles,” Selby thought as a tear trickled down Knuckles’ face. “My favourite boxer hates to box.”
    “I’m sorry,” Wilma said, giving Knuckles a pat on the back that could have knocked over an elephant."I don’t mind if you retire from the ring but not tonight. Now I’m going out there right now and I’ll count to ten. If you’re not there, you know what you’ll get.”
    “No, Ma, please!” Knuckles pleaded. “Not a spanking! No! It’s not fair! Nobody spanks like you!”
    Wilma strode out of the dressing-room.
    “This is awful!” Selby thought. “I’ve got to do something. I’ve got to give Knuckles a good pep talk.”
    “Pull yourself together, Champ,” Selby said. “I’ve got an idea.”
    Knuckles wiped the tears from his eyes with his boxing gloves and looked around.
    “Who’s there?” he asked. “Oh, no! I was right! Now I’m hearing things. I’ve had one punch too many.”
    “Never mind about that,” Selby said from deep inside the box. “Tonight you’re going to dance.”
    “I’m going to what?” Knuckles said to an empty locker.
    “Dance, you big lug,” Selby said. “You’re not going to punch, you’re going to dance. If you’re a good dancer, he won’t be able to lay a glove on you.”
    “What if I’m not a good dancer?” Knuckles said to the sink.
    “Just remember what they taught you at ballet school,” Selby said. “Now get out there, your mum’s already counted up to nine.”
    “Oh, no!” Knuckles screeched. “Not another spanking!”
    Knuckles raced out of the dressing-room and into the ring as Selby sneaked into the hall. The referee rang the bell and the two boxers came towards each other. Slugfest threw a punch and watched as his brother hopped to one side. He swung again and Knuckles jumped back as fast as lightning.

    “Hey! What’s going on here?” Slugfest muttered as a brilliant uppercut missed his dancing brother.
    The crowd went silent as Knuckles leaped from side to side and then all around his bewildered brother, who punched in every direction.
    “Stand still!” Slugfest whispered. “This isn’t fair! We’re supposed to be punching each other.”
    “That’s what you think,” Knuckles whispered back, spinning around and holding his hands together over his head.
    Round after round, Knuckles danced as the sweat poured off his brawny brother.
    “Make him stand still,” Slugfest hissed at the referee.
    “There’s nothing in the rules about standing still,” the referee said as Knuckles picked him up and spun him around, putting him back on the canvas ever so gently.
    Slugfest drew in a deep breath and then punched in every direction as fast as he could, hoping to hit his brother just by luck.
    “Ha ha, you can’t hit me,” Knuckles sang as he danced this way and that, and the crowdroared as the exhausted Slugfest collapsed on the canvas.
    “What a fight!” the referee yelled, holding up Knuckles’ hand. “You’ve won! I’ve never seen anything like it! It was a no-punch fight!”
    “I did it!” Knuckles screamed at his smiling mother. “Did you see me dance on my toes, Ma! Now they’ll have to let me back into ballet class!”
    “Ma? Ballet class?” the smiling Mrs Trifle mumbled as she and Selby started home. “Am I hearing things?”
    “If you are,” Selby thought as he trotted alongside her, “you’re not the first one to hear things tonight.”

SELBY TIPPED TO WIN
    It was a happy day for Bogusville when the international domino tipping-over champion, Sandra “Steady” Sturgis stabbed a finger at the map of the world and said, “Right there is where I will construct the domino tipping-over show of the century and win