Free Evanescence (Black Rose #1) by R. J. Rogue

never my intention of having anyone read my notebook, especially Essence. But her compelling beauty would not allow my lips to form a no . I had surrendered myself, becoming a mere puppet to her ventriloquy.
    From down the hall, I hear someone approaching. Do I dare take a look? No. I already know who it is. I should maybe walk away now, act as though I don't see or expect anyone coming. But I can't. I can't be a coward. I have to face my problems head on and learn to stop running.
    She is close and now I have to find a way to explain my actions once again without using the same lame excuse. I take a deep breath almost sure that she was right next to me and turn to face --. Mike. 
    "You alright, Ev? I saw you talking with Essence and it looked like something was wrong. What happened?" He asks.
    I sigh.
    "I apologized for yesterday which she did forgive me, but I think I made an even worse impression on her when she asked about my notebook."
    "The one you write everything in?"
    I nod and press my lips together.
    "Yeah."
    "And I'm assuming you said yes."
    "I had no choice, Mike."
    "I mean you could've said no," he assures.
    "She doesn't exactly make that easy," I say shaking my head. "I would assume Bianca would make you feel the same."
    He coughs up a smile, and nods as he folds his arms across his chest.
    "I guess I have to agree with you on that," he says shrugging.
    "Right. Well anyway, I let her read it, but there was something personal that I didn't want her to see." 
    "Do you think she read it?"
    I look down the hallways hoping not to see her. I shake my head.
    "No," I say. "But had I let her read just a bit more, I would have been too late."
    "Good thing she missed it," he smiles as he pats my shoulder. "So what are you stressing for?"
    "I snatched it out of her hands. I scared her." 
    Mike stares at me for a bit before exhaling deeply.
    "Yeah," I say acknowledging his deep sigh. "I've been doing plenty of that lately."
    "Try not to stress over things too much," he says. "Anything is fixable, just have to make the right approach."
    I hate when Mike goes all shrink on me, because then, he is always right. I can fix this. It will take a lot out of me, but I can fix it. I have to. I just didn't know what to do in that situation. It was the only way, in my opinion, to save my world from ending. My feelings for her must remain a secret and I would never let the whispers in my book reveal that secret. 
    "You're right," I say. "I can fix this."
    "I know you can."
    "I was afraid she would read it, tear it out, and throw the paper in my face or something," I exclaim as I start to grab my books for the next few classes.
    Mike leans against a locker.
    "Well, that's a thought. What if she didn't? What if she likes you too and just isn't saying anything?"
    It takes barely a second to figure out the possibility of that was quite minuscule. That's bizarre. Not in any of my dreams would that happen. Essence LaRoux with mutual feelings? However, instead of feeling upset about how slim of a possibility it is, her feeling the same about me, I find laughter. Maybe I shouldn't be so negative though. Maybe for once I should look at the other end of the spectrum and consider, 'what if she does? What if Essence LaRoux really has feelings for me?'  
    "Noooope," I say to Mike shaking my head.
    "Oh come on, Ev. Even after what happened yesterday she sat with you at lunch and without an invitation."
    "Yeah, well, I just screwed that up right?"
    I close my locker.
    "I see you and Bianca are a bit friendly," I add. I wish Essence and I were like that. Growing in friendship.
    "I'm going over to her place today after school. Knock out some homework and just relax. We may hit the pool later at the rec center. Care to--"
    I frown.
    "Oh-- Sorry, man," he says as his head slouches. "Forgot."
    I nod.
    "It's fine. We probably wouldn't be friends had you not save me from those kids when we were younger."
    "Yeah," he says, his lips forming a small smile.