Free Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner Page B

again?
    â€œHi, Carrie,” Dr. Petrov says. “How are you doing?”
    â€œI’m fine.” I enter and sit down.
    â€œIs there a ‘but’?” he asks, sitting across from me. “You seem hesitant.”
    â€œWell,” I say, “I sort of have this problem.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œWhenever I’m having a sexual fantasy, the phone rings.”
    Petrov shifts uncomfortably. “I’d appreciate your not listening in on my sessions.”
    â€œI couldn’t help it. The door was just flat enough for my ear.”
    â€œLet’s see what kind of progress you’ve made on your to-do list.”
    Â 
    ZOLOFT®
Do things from list of 10 things you love
Join an org./club
Go on date
Tell someone you care
Celebrate New Yr’s
    â€œI had ice cream,” I say. “To fulfill mandate number one.”
    â€œThat’s great,” he says. “Did you get rainbow sprinkles?”
    â€œYes. I made a whole ice-cream soda.”
    â€œAnd how did it make you feel?”
    I have to admit it. “Pretty good,” I say.
    He smiles, as if he’s earned a victory. This bugs me, so I add, “I haven’t made any progress on getting a date. Or joining an organization.”
    â€œWhat about the guy from legal proofreading who flirts with you?”
    â€œHe doesn’t flirt with me. And I haven’t seen him again yet. I will, though.”
    â€œGood. Remember not to back down if he wants to get to know you better. Even if he’s not exactly like you, you can still become friends with him.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œHave you found any clubs you might want to join?”
    â€œI’m looking around,” I say. “I’m still considering that church.”
    â€œYou know, you’re in New York City. If you pick up the Weekly Beacon, there are lots of events in the listings section.”
    This reminds me of something. The Weekly Beacon has a very popular personal ad section. It gives you a little more than the usual personal ad websites on the Internet. You can read the Beacon’ s ads in the paper or on the Web, but they also have a feature where you can have a voice mailbox so you can hear the other person’s voice and they can hear yours, without having to give out your number at first. So not only can you trade e-mails, but you can trade phone messages, too. That provides me with optimum chance to talk to them and rank their creepiness potential before I have to meet them. A lot of people on the Internet pretend to be different than they are. This is perfect. I should be able to get at least one date and satisfy Petrov’s requirement easily, even if this wasn’t the method he had in mind.
    I can place an ad and tell all about myself. What’s more, I can mention in the ad that I have morals and that I’m smart. And I can include my restrictions for the people who respond. That way, I might actually meet someone who has standards and intellectual interests.
    I’m definitely going to do that.
    Petrov asks, “Are you okay? You seem a little down today.”
    We go into how my week went, how my father is, and about New York in general, but I don’t mention Professor Harrison. I tell Petrov I’m going to rent classic movies after the session. That’s how I’ve been occupying several evenings lately, since I’ve read a lot of classic literature but haven’t seen enough classic films. The movies come from a top-100 movie list recently released by the Association of American Film Reviewers. They actually released a whole bevy of lists, including 100 best movies, 100 best movie scores, 100 best leading men, 100 best leading women, and 100 best movie characters. If I had to do my own film characters list, number 1 would be C. F. Kane, 2would be Nurse Ratched, 3 would be Dr. Strangelove, and 4 through 21 would be Sybil. There are some great characters in movies—greater than