Free On A Day Like This by Peter Stamm Page A

her from behind. She shook him away.
    “Can you understand how I might feel used?”
    “I might as well say I’ve been used by you.”
    She laughed, a cackling sort of laugh, bewildered, not malicious.
    “If you want to feel like a victim,” said Andreas, “fine by me. Just go.”
    Delphine turned the light on and furiously got dressed. She stuffed her things in the sports bag.
    When she was gone, Andreas showered and got dressed. Even though he’d drunk a lot of wine, he felt clear-headed. He felt like a secret agent, carrying out a plan that no one besides him knew. He looked at theclock. It was a little after midnight. He thought of giving Nadia a call, but then he had another idea.
    He walked quickly, and was rather out of breath as he stood outside Nadia’s house, twenty minutes later. He rang the bell. It took a long time until he heard her voice on the intercom. She sounded tired.
    “Can I come up?” he asked.
    “Are you mad? It’s … Do you know what time it is?”
    “Half past midnight,” said Andreas. “I wanted to say good-bye.”
    “I thought you were already on vacation.”
    “I’m not going anywhere. I’m leaving Paris.”
    There was a click on the intercom. The lock buzzed.
    The front door of the apartment was open. Just coming, called Nadia from the bathroom. Andreas hadn’t often been here. He went into the kitchen. The sink was full of dirty dishes, on the table was an empty wine bottle and a couple of glasses. In the fridge, Andreas found an almost empty bottle of champagne, with a silver spoon in its neck. He looked around for a clean glass. He didn’t find one, and finally just tipped theend of the bottle into a teacup. When he threw the bottle in the trash, he saw some Chinese takeout containers on top. In a little cardboard box that had a few dried scraps of rice in it lay a used condom.
    The living room was a mess as well. Books, magazines, and clothes were scattered on the floor. On the sofa was a brimming ashtray that fell on the ground when Andreas sat down. He stood up again, and went into the corridor.
    After a while, Nadia came out of the bathroom. She was wearing her nightdress with a loose robe thrown over it. She had put on makeup and done her hair.
    “An unexpected visitor,” she said and smiled, a mixture of uncertain and offended. She seemed not yet to have made up her mind how she was going to respond to him.
    “I should have called,” said Andreas. “I didn’t know it was someone else’s turn today.”
    “I had a visitor. An old girlfriend.”
    Andreas said he hadn’t come to check up on her. He didn’t care who she slept with. He had spent the evening with someone else too. Nadia said she wasn’t interested. She said she’d had enough of him. He used her like a prostitute. She didn’t want to see him anymore.
    “I came to say good-bye to you,” said Andreas.
    Nadia told him not to act so sensitive. It was nothing to do with her, said Andreas, he was leaving Paris. Nadia sighed and said, if he must know, her ex-husband had been around.
    “Your horrible ex,” said Andreas. “You’ve been seeing him the whole time, haven’t you?”
    That was none of his business, said Nadia. Why shouldn’t she, anyway. They were both free to do as they pleased. She and her husband got along better now than before their separation.
    “But who will you go to to complain about him when I’m gone?” asked Andreas. “Oh, you’ll find someone soon enough. Or I can put you onto someone, a friend of mine. Do you want his number?”
    “Bastard,” said Nadia icily.
    “I’ll miss you,” said Andreas. “I always used to feel so alone when I was with you.”
    “You’re always alone, no matter who’s with you,” said Nadia.
    The next day Andreas got up early. He had left the windows open all night, and the apartment felt chilly. He had a violent coughing fit. He felt a little ashamed ofthe way he had behaved with Nadia and Delphine. He was surprised at the