Free Friendship According to Humphrey by Betty G. Birney

cage. “For goodness’ sake, calm down, Humphrey.”
    I didn’t calm down. I started squeaking and jumping, jumping and squeaking, because I couldn’t think of anything else to do . . . except open the cage door and hand her the application.
    I couldn’t do that because she’d find out about the lock-that-doesn’t-lock.
    “What’s this?” Mrs. Brisbane picked up the application—whew! —and started to read! “Aldo must have left this here by mistake. I’ll put it in his mailbox.”
    She folded it up without finishing it.
    “Tell her, Og! Help me . . . help Aldo!” I was shrieking more than squeaking now, and to my amazement, Og let out a rather large “BOING!” which I really appreciated.
    “What’s the matter with you two? It’s an application. It’s private.”
    “BOING! BOING!”
    “SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!”
    Working together, we kept up the noisemaking and Mrs. Brisbane looked confused. She opened the application and started reading, thank goodness, because I was getting quite hoarse.
    “Well, well. Aldo is applying to go back to college. That’s a good idea. And he wants to study . . .” She stopped and stared a bit longer. “He wrote in ‘Teaching,’ but he crossed it out again. I wonder why?”
    “Ask him!” I shouted with the last bit of my voice.
    “I’d better give Aldo a call,” said Mrs. Brisbane.
    “Hi, Mrs. Brisbane!” a loud voice yelled. It was Lower-Your-Voice-A.J.
    Mrs. Brisbane greeted him and folded up the application. She took it to her desk and didn’t look at it again all day.
    There was nothing to do now but keep my paws firmly crossed, which I did.
     
    Sometime in the afternoon, I must have dozed off, but I was awakened by a now-familiar noise. “Chirrup!” That was the sound of a cricket. This time, it was coming from the middle of the room.
    “Mrs. Brisbane?” a voice called out.
    “Chirrup!”
    Our teacher turned away from the board, where she was writing out a math problem. “Yes, Kirk?”
    “I think a cricket got loose.” Kirk pointed to the floor near his table.
    “Well, pick it up, please,” Mrs. Brisbane said.
    “Chirrup! Chirrup!”
    Kirk bent down and cupped his hands, touching the floor. “I’ve got it!”
    “Good. Now please put it back where it belongs.”
    Kirk lifted his hands and sat upright in his chair. “I don’t know, Mrs. Brisbane. I think it might get away.”
    Everyone was watching as Kirk stood up and started walking toward the cabinet where the crickets were kept. As he passed by Heidi, he suddenly opened his hands up right over her head. “Oops! Dropped it. Sorry, Heidi.”
    Heidi leaped up and started jumping around the room, shaking her head and running her hands through her hair. “Help! Get it off me. Get it off!” she screamed.
    Everyone was laughing. Everyone except Mrs. Brisbane.
    “Kirk Chen, you find that cricket,” she said in a very stern tone of voice. “Now!”
    Kirk grinned. “Aw, there was no cricket. I was making that noise.”
    Heidi stopped jumping around and glared at him.
    “Hear it? Chirrup. Chirrup.” Kirk really sounded like a cricket. “Boy, that Heidi Hopper sure can hop!” he added.
    Gail giggled until Heidi shot her a very angry look, then quickly covered her mouth to stop herself.
    Mrs. Brisbane slowly walked toward Kirk. “You, my friend, are in trouble. Big trouble,” she said. “You will stay in during recess and we’ll have a little talk.”
    As Kirk returned to his seat, the room was very quiet. Except for a loud “Chirrup!”
    Without even turning to look at him, Mrs. Brisbane said, “I-Heard-That-Kirk Chen.”
     
    I wouldn’t have wanted to be Kirk when it was time for recess. Once the other students had cleared out, Mrs. Brisbane marched over to him. Boy, was he in trouble! So I was surprised at the first thing she said.
    “I have a confession to make. I think you’re a funny guy, Kirk. You make me laugh a lot. Someday, you might star in a funny movie, and I promise