Free The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel by Joseph Torchia Page A

we still like you and Jimmy Olsen better than ANYBODY else we know. Even God or Mrs. Bacchio or ourselfs. And we like them quite a bit. And so we don’t even care if we NEVER get to meet you or go for a ride with you or anything, as long as you stay alive and make sure that Jimmy does also. Of course we still want to meet you an awful lot, Superman. But if we can’t, then we’d rather not meet you because you’re alive than because you’re dead. So PLEASE be extra careful please.
    Thank you very VERY much.
      
LOVE,
Jerry and Robert
      
      
      
    Well, Superman,
      
    Me and Robert have been thinking about it a looooooooong time and we finally found a REALLY good way to get Mr. Mxyzptlk! to say his name back words and disappear. What you could do is you could ask him to play a game called FAMOUS NAMES because he really likes games  because he’s a imp and not a person. And that’s what me and Robert like to play sometimes. Like I might say WHAT IS THE NAME OF SUPERMAN’S FAMOUS DOG?
    And Robert would say KRYPTO.
    Or I might say WHAT IS THE NAME OF GOD’S FAMOUS SON?
    And Robert would say THE BABY JESUS.
    And so you could say WHAT IS THE NAME THAT THE FAMOUS IMP SAYS BACKWORDS?
    And he would say JKLTPZYXM and then he would disappear. If he was dumb. Which he isn’t. So he’ll say,
    HA-HA, YOU’RE TRYING TO TRICK ME, SUPERMAN!
    And you’ll say, WELL, I GUESS IT ISN’T VERY FAMOUS ANYWAY.
    And he’ll say YES IT IS!
    And you’ll say NO IT ISN’T.
    And he’ll say YES IT IS! again.
    And you’ll say WHAT IS?
    And he’ll say JKLTPZYXM. Except he might be smarter than you think, Superman. And he’ll say,
    I WON’T SAY IT, SUPERMAN!
    And you’ll say THAT’S BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW IT, MR. MXYZPTLK!
    And he’ll say YES I DO!
    And you’ll say YOU SURE ARE A DUMB IMP!
    And he’ll say NO I’M NOT!
    And you’ll say DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN NAME BACKWORDS—HA-HA!
    And he’ll say YES I DO!
    And you’ll say THEN WHAT IS IT?
    And he’ll say .'KLTPZYXM and then FOR SURE he’ll disappear. And we know all that talking is gonna take up a  lot of space in the comicbook but we hope you can do it anyway. So GOOD LUCK, Man of Steel!
      
Your VERYgood PALS, 
JERRY and ROBERT
      
    PS: We hope you’ll write and tell us if you like it for a change.
      
      



  
    DEAR SUPERMAN,
      
    Right now Robert and me are on the Duck Rock but what I wanted to tell you about happend this morning when Veronica who lives nextdoor went to talk to Old Lady Holbrook. Except she don’t really talk because she whispers like she always does. Like one time she kept whispering about Robert’s mom and how she gets drunk all the time because she must be a alkaholic. And another time she kept whispering about somebody who was a mother who had a baby who didn’t have a father and Old Lady Holbrook whisperd I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
    And Veronica nextdoor whisperd I’M TELLING YOU, MARGRET, I GOT IT STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE’S NEIGHBOR.
    And this morning Veronica was walking up the street REAL fast and she didn’t even knock because Old Lady Holbrook was waiting for her on the porch. So we figured they had something real importent to whisper about and it would take a LONG time. That’s why I waited for them to go inside before I snuck out of the bushes and put on my cape and climbed up the tree and Robert said READY?
    And I said READY.
    Only I guess I wasn’t because my cape got caught on a branch and I almost got hung like a cowboy. Except the knot broke as Veronica opened the door and came out and went right over to see my mom. So I figured I was really gonna get it.
    That’s why I sneaked home and took off my shoes and tip-toed in the doorway and you know what, Superman?  She wasn’t even saying nothing about it for a change. That’s because she was too busy whispering about how Mrs. Bacchio was doing something with somebody who she wasn’t supposed to be doing it with. And I don’t