Free Mistletoe Mansion by Samantha Tonge

Don’t you dare cock your leg just inches from my face! I stared again at the Bugatti. Adam would have killed to give that a test run…
    Suddenly the front door flew open and I ducked down further, behind the bush, inhaling the smell of wet leaves and damp soil. I could see frosty white mist escape my mouth, as I breathed in and out. Willing Groucho not to yap, I peered through a gap in the plants. At the sound of footsteps on the drive, and thanks to the porch light, I got a clear view of the man’s face.
    What? No, it couldn’t be. My heart skipped a beat, before I took a quick double take. The number plate said JON 45. I was right! IT WAS GOLFING STAR, JONNY WINSFORD!

Chapter 6
    It’s official: miracles do happen; fantasies come true. My new neighbour was the hottest talent on the UK golfing circuit, known as The Eagle. That explained the door knocker and the bonkers water fountain. And that woman… I put my fist in my mouth. She must have been Melissa, she of the velvety voice who, only this morning, on the telly, had taken me through my putts and tee offs.
    Me? Living just along from the Winsfords? Who cares that I left my fitness DVDs in Adam’s flat, because now I had the real 3D version of the instructor living right next door. Not that Adam would be impressed. He reckoned golf was a sissy’s sport and that any bloke who promoted moisturiser was “a right muppet”.
    I bet he secretly fancied Melissa, though, with her full lips and pert bum. She’d single-handedly sexed up British golf – and her trophy-winning husband certainly put the
pwhoar
into plus fours. Between them, the Winsfords had brought golf to the nation and even increased sales of those naff jumpers with diamonds printed on. After their weekly appearances in the glossies, even I’d picked up lots of golfing terms, like a “slice” meaning a shot curving to the right, like a “bogey” – yuck – meaning a score of one over par.
    The bass beat of Jonny’s – I’d already decided we’d be on first name terms – radio pulsated loudly as he got in and revved the engine. As he reversed down the drive, Melissa raced out of the house. Unsteady on her feet, she wore a sexy nightie and screamed at him to stop. On a frosty patch of tarmac, she slid to a stop, then yanked open the car door, grabbed his… phew,
belt
, and pulled him out.
    I wanted a nightie that clung to my nipples; I wanted a car that didn’t need a bump start. She stabbed his chest with her finger and then shook her fist. In response, he stroked her hair, moved in closer and lifted her up. Wow. She looked even more glamorous, spread-eagled, across the blue bonnet. Maybe posh cars needed a
hump
start?
    ‘Let’s go.’ I whispered to Groucho, as Jonny lifted Melissa up again and carried her indoors. They were obviously one of those passionate couples who, like in the movies, had great make-up sex. Unlike me and Adam. He’d just sulk for days whereas I should copyright my selection of flounces and dramatic sighs. We were well-matched in that way and would jokingly vie for the Brownie points of apologising first.
    Wait until Jess heard about our glam neighbours, although glitzy sporting types weren’t really for her. She liked men with hidden depths and meaningful stares, like crossbow-armed Daryl out of zombie series The Walking Dead. God knows why she’d fallen for shallow Phil.
    ‘Lost something?’ asked a husky voice.
    Aargh, talk about zombies! Maybe I should’ve followed Adam’s advice - he never approved of women going out on their own after dark. I jumped up and gulped with relief not to find myself facing a member of the maggot-infested Undead. Instead I stared at a double chin and friendly eyes topped with defined grey brows. The old man wore a bright yellow cap and an even brighter anorak, tightly zipped up around his rotund front. Groucho wagged his tail and the man picked him up.
    ‘Hope I didn’t scare you. Let me introduce myself. I’m Terry.’ He