Free House of Many Tongues by Jonathan Garfinkel Page A

Polyester.
    Alex: I imagine they’re not as soft as your skin.
    Rivka: Uh-huh.
    Alex: Although it’s not your skin that interests me. It’s what’s beneath.
    Rivka: What’s beneath my skin?
    Alex: Well, you know.
    Rivka: Alex. Are you coming on to me?
    Alex: No. I’m warming up my intentions.
    Rivka: What are you talking about?
    Alex: I’m going to give you cunnilingus.
    Rivka: What?
    Alex: Teach me how.
    Rivka: No way!
    Alex: Please.
    Rivka: I’m twice your age.
    Alex: Your experience is vital.
    Rivka: I’m your tutor.
    Alex: Exactly.
    Rivka: Your math tutor. I’m also your cousin.
    Alex: It has not been proven that we are of the same blood. And besides, even if we were. Isn’t it always better to keep things in the family?
    Rivka: Your dad would kill me.
    Alex: If that’s the only reason why you don’t want me to perform the act of cunnilingus—
    Rivka: That’s enough. Your father told me you were suspended from school today.
    Alex: It’s just for three days. I needed some time off anyways. I need to get to work.
    Rivka: What did you do to get suspended?
    Alex: (ignoring her) Why are teachers so stupid? Why can’t they teach us something important, like something we might actually use in life? Something that would change the world—for good.
    Scientifically he begins to move his tongue back and forth.
    Is it better to go side to side or up and down?
    Rivka: Alex, your father’s worried about you.
    Alex: (takes out pen and paper) My father says that Israeli men don’t like to perform cunnilingus. Is this true?
    Rivka: Of course not.
    Alex: (writing) Oh. You mean some Israeli men do perform cunnilingus?
    Rivka: Of course.
    Alex: Are they any good?
    Rivka: I don’t know. I haven’t let every man in Israel go down on me.
    Alex: Roughly how many would you say do it? Plus or minus three percent.
    Rivka: Alex. We are not having sex together.
    Alex: I don’t want to copulate with you. I want to learn how to give you oral pleasure. Perfectly. (a beat) Hey. You’re blushing. What are you scared of?
    Rivka: I’m not scared.
    Alex: Then you’re ashamed.
    Rivka: I am not ashamed.
    Alex: When a person feels shame it’s because they can’t handle the truth of things. Because the truth is too much and it weighs on you like a stone. But you haven’t done anything bad, Rivka. All you want is to feel good. Like any human being. And I want to help you.
    He writes in his notebook.
    Rivka: What are you writing?
    Alex: (reading) An anonymous source said, “Older women prefer not to talk about oral sex.”
    Rivka: I didn’t say that. You’re misquoting me.
    Alex: You’ve implied that by your actions.
    Rivka: What are you writing this down for?
    Alex: My social studies independent project: the Cunnilingus Manifesto .
    Rivka: Good God.
    Alex: My father says no Israeli men like to go down on women.
    I say, that’s the problem right there.
    If Israeli men went down on Palestinian women.
    And Palestinian men went down on Israeli women.
    And if these men could put in the time, and do it well, the world would be a completely different place.
    I read that orgasms alter your DNA. Isn’t that what we need? A radical altering of perspective?
    Rivka: Please don’t tell me this is why you were kicked out of school.
    Alex: I saw the burning bush. It spoke to me!
    Climbs onto his desk.
    “From Jaffa to Jericho,
    Eilat to Eilon,
    You, Alexander, must go forth into the nation of Israel!
    And you will recruit five hundred men into your legions,
    and you will set forth upon the land,
    and bring pleasure to the women of Palestine.
    Happy and satisfied will be the women of our enemy.”
    Rivka: You want sex, Alex. That’s healthy. Go find someone your own age and use a condom.
    Alex: I read in Wikipedia that there’s a part of the female body that exists only for the sake of pleasure. Is this true?
    Rivka: It’s called the clitoris.
    Alex: That’s right. (writes) Cli-toris. Is it hard to find?
    Rivka: For most men, yes.
    Alex: