myself pressed against Nathan’s chest, his arms holding me securely.
“I knew something happened. What is it?”
“I…” I pushed him away, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “Can’t I have a moment of privacy?”
I’d hoped I would be able to regain my composure, but a fresh wave of tears came then, my chest heaving. He held me, although I didn’t want him to. It was unseemly to be in a stranger’s arms, but…we were alone and I needed comfort, having tried so hard over the weeks to be strong. In the end, I gave up and let him hold me while I cried, until there was nothing left. His tow shirt was soaked from my tears; the coarse quality of the material scratched my face.
He produced a handkerchief and used it, wiping away wetness from beneath my eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“I…shouldn’t say anything.”
“Stop that right now. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I found out…we have no money.”
To my astonishment, he laughed, “That’s all? I thought somebody died.”
My mouth fell open. “I have no money for wages. I have no money for…anything! We owe money everywhere. I had no idea we were so bad off.”
He shrugged. “That happens.”
His lack of sympathy was irritating. “I can’t pay you.”
“I figured.”
“How do you mean?”
“I haven’t been paid yet.”
“I thought Frank gave you wages?”
“No, ma’am. He’s waiting for the crops to come in.”
Our eyes met. “You don’t mind working for people who don’t pay you?”
“I’m living here for free, eating for free. It’s not a bad deal.” He smiled then, his eyes crinkling around the edges. “Once the crops come on, there’ll be money. You should take the extra eggs to town and sell ‘em. I could do that for you, if you want.” He dabbed my face, wiping away several wayward tears. “Haven’t you looked around, lady?”
Now I was confused. “What?”
“How many farmers do you see in these parts?”
“Not many.”
“No, ma’am. Most people are hunting for gold. It’s Pike’s Peak or bust. They’re not interested in tilling land and growing things. But, how are they gonna eat? They can’t wait for a shipment to come in. It’s not practical. People gotta eat now. Once winter comes, they’ll be sore outta luck. Most of those men will leave for the season. The crazy ones will stay.”
“I’m sorry, but what does that have to do with my situation?”
“You’re gonna have plenty of corn and potatoes. We’re doing a wheat field soon as well. There’ll be hay and wheat and corn. Those are things you can sell. The extras from the vegetable garden can be taken into town and sold. People are starved for fresh produce.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Your situation isn’t as dire as you think.”
I stared steadily at him, which was unladylike. I hadn’t noticed that my hand was on his thigh, but he had, as his gaze had lowered. Snatching it away, I sucked in a breath, finally feeling a small measure of control over my emotions. “I have to check on Frank. It’s past lunch time.” He got to his feet, reaching for me. “Thank you…Nathan. I appreciate your kind words.” Something flared in his eyes, setting my pulses racing in a peculiar way.
“My name sure sounds nice on your lips.”
I had struggled with grief, fighting to keep my equanimity. Now…I was faced with an entirely different dilemma—lust.
Chapter Eight
After finding out the truth about my finances, the upset didn’t last for long, which was strange. I avoided speaking about it with Frank, letting him believe that I remained unaware. He knew of the situation. His plans had been to pay off the debts after the harvest. I had to trust that my husband was astute enough to manage our affairs, and the last thing I wanted to do was confront him on this issue and question his judgment. I had other things to worry about…
My parents had sent a wheelchair that had originally come from England. It had been secondhand,