Free Baby Aliens Got My Teacher! by Pamela Butchart Page A

INCIDENT . The INCIDENT that Mum didn’t want to hear about. So I slammed down the phone and dialled 999 . Because that’s what the police officer that came to our school said to do in an EMERGENCY .
    And this was an

The “I-Had-an-Accident” Clothes
    Even though the INCIDENT happened on Friday, I’m going to start this story from Monday, because lots of other stuff happened before the INCIDENT .
    Jodi (our friend and third witness) says that we have to call what happened an INCIDENT and not an ACCIDENT because an ACCIDENT is when something happens by accident and an INCIDENT is something that happens that is not an accident. And what happened at school on Friday was definitely NOT an accident.
    On Monday, me and Zach walked to school like we always do, because our school is right beside where we live. And Jodi’s mum drove Jodi right into the playground even though Mr Murphy (the Head Teacher) shouts “NO CARS ALLOWED!” out of his window EVERY morning.
    I don’t think Jodi’s mum even hears MrMurphy shouting because she has her music up really loud and I can usually hear what song she’s singing along to even though all the windows are rolled up.
    Jodi says her mum is practising for X Factor because she’s bored of working in the bakery and that she’s “SICK TO THE BACK TEETH” of smelling like sausage rolls. But Jodi says her mum’s not very good at singing and that one time the woman who lives upstairs came down to their door and shouted at her mum and called her a “NIGHTMARE NEIGHBOUR!” and said it sounded like a cat was being strangled.
    So that’s when we started to spy on the woman who lives upstairs because as Jodi said, “How does SHE know what it sounds like when you strangle a cat?” And this was a very good question. I have two cats and Zach has one, so we followed her for a while to make sure she wasn’t a Cat Strangler. But she didn’t really go anywhere and then one day she caught us peeking through her letter box and she phoned the police and even though we told them about her being a Cat Strangler we still got into big trouble. But I didn’t really mind because now she knows that “WE’RE ON TO HER!” and Zach said that she was “UNLIKELY TO STRIKE AGAIN” with us watching her. So our cats are safe.

    Anyway, I also once heard Mr Murphy tell the office ladies that Jodi’s mum was a “NIGHTMARE PARENT” . And I didn’t think that was a very nice thing for the Head Teacher to say. So I told Jodi and she told her mum and now every time Mr Murphy goes into the bakery, Jodi’s mum gives himthe cakes that have fallen on the ground.
    But I’m secretly glad that Jodi’s mum can’t sing very well because that means she still has to work in the bakery. So when we go to Jodi’s house there are always loads of doughnuts and yum yums and Bakewell tarts because her mum gets to bring them home for free. I’ve not decided what I’m going to be when I grow up yet, but I’m thinking about becoming a baker.
    So anyway, me and Zach were walking up to the school gates when Miss Jones (our horrible teacher) drove past really fast and splattered us with a massive puddle. Iscreamed, but Zach screamed even louder because he was standing nearest to the road and he got completely SOAKED! Zach screamed even louder than the time I put a pea in each finger of his gloves. Zach is TERRIFIED of peas. His mum says he has a PHOBIA about them, which I think means he’s scared he’s going to turn into one, but I’m not sure.

    Anyway, I got really wet tooand the mud splattered all over my new bag. And Zach got mud all over his teeth because he had his mouth open when Miss Jones splashed us. So we had to go to the school nurse because we were soaking wet and she made us wear the spare “I-had-an-accident” clothes and sent us to class.
    At least we BOTH had to wear