through the blindness to where his dark body was slumped on the stone floor.
“ Fuck !” I shouted. He was as big as me and twice as heavy, but I’d be damned if I left him. With a deep grunt, I hauled him onto my shoulders.
His voice was a groan in my ear. “Stuart. Go on. Go.”
“You’re not dying today, soldier,” I shouted back.
Months of working out and not much else between the explosions and the darkness had me strong as a damn mule. I went up the short flight of steps to the exit. I had no idea what I’d be stepping into when I went through that door, but they knew we were in here. We couldn’t stay.
I held Derek steady on my back as I peered into the smoke and dust filling the air. Two bodies in robes right ahead of us. Not Americans. We couldn’t do anything for them, but I would do something for us.
A convoy had been preparing to transport the last of us two houses down. If I could make it that far, it was possible we’d be safe. I couldn’t see a damned thing as I made a break for it. My thighs burned with the exertion and the extra weight, and my lungs seized from the smoke. Derek was a fucking dead weight on my back, but I barely noticed with the adrenaline pumping in my veins. I was born for this.
Blinking hard, I could just make out the hulking shapes of the armored trucks waiting to take us away.
“We’re almost there,” I shouted, even though I was pretty sure he was out again.
Taking the first step, I dug in with my heel, trying to gain speed with traction. Combat boots, thirty-seven pounds of weaponry, ordnance, spying shit, and my commanding officer. I ran as fast as I could to the symbol of safety. I was just there when my feet went out from under me. My ears rang with the noise of the explosion, and pain shot like fire through the lower half of my body. I flew forward and landed on my chest in the dirt.
I couldn’t stop shaking. It wasn’t fear—it was adrenaline combined with the effort I’d been pushing to get us to safety faster. My brain tilted on its side. The trucks were near, but they couldn’t see us in all the smoke and confusion. Bodies were running all around us. I needed to get up, but I was dazed.
God dammit! I was made for this. I tried to force myself to get up, but my body didn’t respond. I was above myself looking down. Derek lay on my back exposed, unprotected. What the fuck was happening to me? I fought against this pansy-assed flake-out. I had to get back down there. I had to carry my brother to safety. I was stronger than this.
Somebody had to see us, but the whole place was in confusion. Another whistling rocket, another explosion. I struggled to open my mouth and yell for backup. Nothing came out. I saw a truck jolt and fly back. It was hit.
Then, like an old-fashioned television switching off, everything blinked to black. I didn’t see anything anymore.
Scene 1: Leaving
Stuart
Six years later…
T he pickup rumbled down the highway in the direction of Bayville, New Jersey. I needed to get away, but I had one errand to do before I left. Just in case I never came back.
After I left Nikki’s, I went back to Derek’s place and tore through a bender. When I opened my eyes again, two days had passed. I was sitting on the bedroom floor with an empty bottle of Belvedere, an empty prescription bottle, and the few mementos from after my dad died. As the oldest son and the only Marine to follow in his footsteps, Mom had given them to me.
With bleary eyes, I studied his medal of honor and the assorted badges he’d earned for exemplary service, the flag he’d fought to defend, and then I looked at what I’d become. My own career cut short, I’d slowly devolved into this. A broken-down, wasted warrior. Chips cashed in, I could only think of one last place to go. If that didn’t work…
Kicking my ass off the floor, I pushed through the headache and the hangover to the shower. For a while I stood under the warm spray and let it bring me back to