Free A Mother's Love by Ruth Wind Page B

always be good at it, but I’ll try.”
    Kyra started to hum under her breath, and with weary arms she settled in the rocking chair. What did it matter if Merry was crying either way? She sat down and shifted position and started to sing again, all the childhood songs she could remember.
    Merry just kept crying. Inconsolable. It seemed to go on for days, though when she looked at the clock, she saw it had, in actuality, been only a couple of hours.
    And yet Kyra didn’t feel the panic that had overcome her earlier. For some reason, she sensed this was a natural thing, a baby thing, not some awful lack in Kyra herself.
    But crying for two hours was a long time. “Aren’t you getting hungry yet?” Kyra asked. “You must not have a bad diaper because you couldn’t have anything left to pee.” This made Kyra laugh, slightly hysterically, but Merry didn’t appear to be particularly amused.
    Kyra’s arms were aching, and it finally occurred to her that she could lay the baby down. She put her on her stomach in the cradle, feeling tingles as blood rushed back into the limbs. Emma had explained that babies should never, never sleep on their bellies these days—it was thought that it contributed to SIDS—but lying on the stomach helped them develop their neck muscles. Merry kept crying, lifting her head a little, which did seem as if it would be good exercise after all, and Kyra kept patting her back and her bottom gently, sometimes drawing little circles on her.
    Finally she had to leave her for a minute to cry on her ownin the safety of her cradle so Kyra could go to the bathroom. The crying accompanied her to the little water closet, where she rushed through and washed her hands.
    And suddenly heard the depth of silence of no crying.
    Panicked, she rushed out to the other room—and saw that Merry had simply fallen asleep.
    On her stomach. Of course. Did Kyra turn her over, risk waking her? Could she stand guard to be sure Merry was still breathing? Unrealistic. Kyra, too, was exhausted.
    Well, the baby wouldn’t smother in five minutes, not with Kyra looking on, so she went to the kitchen for a drink of water, washed her grainy face and came back. Gently, gently, she eased Merry from her stomach to her side. The baby let go a shuddering breath and seemed about to awaken, so Kyra braced her chest and put one hand under her and eased her onto her back.
    Merry gusted out a sigh and settled into a heavy sleep. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks red and splotchy, and she was still the most precious, beautiful thing Kyra had ever seen in her life. Exhausted, she covered the baby with a layer of blankets and fell on the couch in weariness. No wonder Emma had taken sick!
    It wasn’t until then that Kyra realized how much everything in her life was going to change. She would have to hire help. She would have to move from her upscale but not very practical townhome and find a house in a good neighborhood, maybe in Wash Park, where the schools were good. She could find an older home with a nice yard, and maybe they would eventually get a dog.
    Tugging a blanket over her shoulders, she nestled into the couch a little more, and it was only as she drifted off that she realized she was seeing Dylan in that picture. Dylan,who lived in Wales. Dylan, who was too much of everything…and somehow just right.
    Bolting awake, she heard that last thought and sat straight up. “What are you thinking, Kyra Tierney?” she said aloud. “Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?”
    The solicitor had expected the paperwork for the adoption to take a few weeks, but he’d filed to give her rights to take the baby out of the country, and that was expected to be returned in a day or two. No one objected to Kyra’s claim of adoption, especially as there was no one on Thomas’s side to step in.
    As soon as she had the paperwork Kyra would have to go home. Away from the